If you thought today’s news couldn’t get any more unfathomably insane, think again. The NYT reports that Central Park’s Anti-Semitic Elmo is even sicker than we thought:
The man in the red Elmo costume was back to work in Central Park on Tuesday, but under the mask, he was not smiling. He was behind in tips he earns by posing for photographs with tourists. He said he had gotten a late start because he was not released from a psychiatric evaluation at a nearby hospital until midmorning.
“The police asked me not to come here today,” the man said Tuesday. “I’m sort of sneaking back in.”
The man, who said his legal name, if not an original one, is Adam Sandler, was handcuffed by the police and escorted from the park on Sunday afternoon after he was heard — and videotaped, by an English tourist — shouting anti-Semitic remarks outside the Central Park Zoo…
Adam Sandler — seriously — then told the NYT a little bit about his life:
Mr. Sandler said he has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Oregon, which the university confirmed. He later traveled to Cambodia and started a pornographic Web site called “Welcome to the Rape Camp.”
“I had a sex scandal,” he said.
That wouldn’t have been my first guess, but it certainly doesn’t sound implausible. Oh, and after Sandler was deported, he came back to the States and got a job with… the Girl Scouts of America.
In other words, he’s almost as creepy and harmful to society as that other Adam Sandler.
It’s not often that I encourage you to read an entire article at the NYT, but this is one of those times. Especially if you plan on going to the zoo with your kids anytime soon.
And you know whose fault all this is, right?