A 22-year-old international movie star cheated on her international movie star boyfriend with a previously unknown 41-year-old director, and now it’s basically all the world can talk about.
Are there more important things going on in the world right now, like the crisis in Syria, or the global economy? The answer is no, no there is probably nothing as important as the Kristen Stewart-Robert Pattinson-Rupert Sanders sex scandal.
But what exactly went down? We’ve broken it up in a handy timeline for you — a cheat-sheet if you will (Get it? Cheat sheet?). You’re welcome!:
- In March 2011, Kristen Stewart is cast as Snow White in an adaptation of the classic fairy tale, “Snow White and the Huntsman.” Rupert Sanders, a relatively unknown commercial director, signs on to direct the picture. His wife, British model and actress Liberty Ross, is cast as Stewart’s mother.
- By May 2012, filming has wrapped and the promotional tour begins. Sanders tells reporters that Kristen is “wildly kind of giggly and vivacious and rebellious and naughty — all things that Bella Swan isn’t.” (Is this a sign of a love affair between the two? Maybe. Probably not. But it might be.)
- On July 17, an intrepid photographer follows Stewart’s black Mini Cooper to a deserted lookout point in Los Angeles. Sanders reportedly walks from his house to where Stewart is parked and gets in the car. Vehicular sex ensues, incriminating photos are taken. Stewart drops Sanders off two blocks from his home, then drives to home she shares with Pattinson.
- On July 24, Us Weekly and People magazine both drop the bombshell that Kristen Stewart of “Twilight” saga fame was caught engaging in some hanky panky with Rupert Sanders, her “Snow White and the Huntmsan” director, a married father of two. A global freakout ensued, and the cry of heartbroken Twihards could be heard ’round the world.
- By Wednesday, Stewart issues a candid statement to People magazine, in which she apologizes to her boyfriend of several years. (Also, the statement is noteworthy because it is the first time she has publicly acknowledged their relationship. ALSO. The statement itself is the stuff of desperation, and not some standard-issue “I’m sorry” press release.) “This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
- A few hours later, Sanders issues a statement to his wife and children saying that he was “distraught” over getting caught going down on a 22-year-old actress in the backseat of her Mini Cooper.
- Sources close to Robert Pattinson tell tabloids that he is “destroyed” over the whole thing because he totally really truly loves Kristen, which kind of makes him seem like a big pushover. This is the same man who has donned full-body glitter in four “Twilight” movies. Just sayin’.
- By Thursday morning, photos of Stewart looking tearful and pleading with paparazzi to stop taking her picture emerge. Not only does going through relationship stuff totally suck, but going through it with the whole world knowing about it probably super sucks. We don’t think anyone would really blame Stewart if she bulldozed the photogs with her Mini Cooper, the scene of the confirmed crime.
- UPDATE: By Thursday afternoon, reports surface that Pattinson has moved out of the home he shares with Stewart, has locked himself in seclusion and has not spoken to his former lover since the story broke.
So, what does the future hold? Well, Stewart and Pattinson have but a couple of months to patch things up before they go on an international press tour to promote the final “Twilight” film, “Breaking Dawn Part 2.”
As for Sanders and Stewart, they better pray that his wife gets over it, since they are all three set to shoot a sequel to “Snow White and the Huntsman” sometime next year.