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British group issues dire warning about impending global bacon shortage

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Taylor Bigler
Entertainment Editor

The world’s most horrifying crisis is not the Middle East uprisings, nor is it the disastrous NFL replacement referee situation. It is something much, much more dire.

According to Britain’s National Pig Association, an industry group that The Daily Caller did not make up out of thin air, a global bacon shortage is nigh. In a statement released last week, the association said that “[a] world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable.”

“New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests.”

Apparently, a lack of rain throughout the United States and Russia has caused a shortage of corn and soy crops, which is what pigs — that eventually turn into delicious strips of succulent bacon —  eat, the Financial Times reports.

While the pig shortage might be directly threatening Britain, the NPA says it could become an international crisis.

“NPA believes slaughterings could fall by as much as 10 percent in the second half of next year, which indicates a doubling of the price of European pork and pork products,” the statement concluded.

A bacon shortage could destroy modern-day life as America knows it, so go forth and clog your arteries while there is still time.

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