Jimmy Kimmel weighed in Wednesday night during his ABC show “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on the dozens of White House petitions from all 50 states asking for the right to secede from the Union.
“Union” being the key word. (RELATED: White House ‘secede’ petitions reach 675,000 signatures, 50-state participation)
“Today the Obama administration, as promised, responded to this,” Kimmel said, referring to a Texas petition that has collected more than 100,000 signatures since Nov. 9
Then, in a mock-up of the White House press room, a track-suited union mobster character held a baseball bat and delivered the administration’s response.
“Hey. How youse doin’,” he said. “I’m Anthony Caprisi, President Obama’s special envoy for talkin’ to the people about seceding from the fucking Union. President Obama got your little petition. He read it. He mulled it over. And here’s his response.”
“Nobody — nobody! — is seceding from no union. Nobody! Capisce, Texas? Good!” he shouted, grabbing the bat. “Now go eat some fucking barbecue or whatever the fuck it is that you do!”
The mobbed-up union boss left the podium only to return, flick on a television displaying a picture of the president, and add: “He’s Barack Obama and he approved this fucking message.”