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1.) I don’t know you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe? — With a grasp of grammar, style and subtlety mirroring his grasp of history, economics and current affairs, TV clown Michael Moore wrote an open letter pleading that President Obama call him for some advice on how to run the world. TheDC’s Caroline May reports:
“According to Moore, so far he likes what he has seen — ‘At your first post-election press conference last Wednesday you were on fire….MORE OF THAT!! PLEASE!!’ — but he does not want to see compromise, and instead wants swift moves to the left, including driving the ‘RICH RIGHT OFF THEIR FISCAL CLIFF.’ ‘The ‘fiscal cliff’ is a ruse, an invention by the right and the rich, to try and keep their huge tax breaks. On December 31, let ALL the tax cuts expire,’ he writes. ‘Then, on January 1, put forth a bill that restores the tax cuts for 98 percent of the public. I dare the Republicans to vote against that! They can’t and they won’t.’…..Moore also provides the commander-in-chief his cell number for texts (810-522-8398) and email address (MMFlint@MichaelMoore.com), just in case the president wants to enlist his help. ‘I await my first assignment!’ Moore concluded.”
Don’t hold your breath, Michael. Or do.
“It all started when GQ magazine published an interview with the Republican senator on Monday that included the question, ‘How old do you think the Earth is?’ ‘I think the age of the universe has zero to do with how our economy is going to grow,’ Rubio said. ‘I’m not a scientist. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that.’ News outlets – ranging from the Washington Post to Politico – drew attention to the remarks. Liberals and left-leaning outlets subsequently mocked Rubio for it.”
We’d like to say that these kinds fake outrages don’t actually work, but the Democrats proved that oh so wrong just two weeks ago. So tread carefully, Mr. Rubio, and illegitimi non carborundum.
3.) What the hell? We won’t sell! — Upset that not everyone gets Thanksgiving — a holiday liberals loath (see below) — to spend with their families, liberal groups are asking people to leave their families and join the picket line. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle reports:
“Emails to MoveOn.org subscribers nationwide are encouraging people – WalMart workers and just regular citizens – to descend on stores in their areas on Black Friday to strike against management. Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, gets its name of course because it’s the day many retailers around the country every year make enough sales to begin operating ‘in the black,’ or at a profit, rather than ‘in the red,’ or at a loss.”
We wait with growing trepidation for the coming NFL strike.
4.) Cheaper than flying — For those too indebted by their $30,000-a-year liberal education to fly home, there is a safe, university-approved alternative: Protest pilgrims. TheDC’s Eric Owens reports:
“This year, one of the requisite protest events — called an anti-Thanksgiving potluck — is slated for Monday night at the University of Virginia, reports WVIR-TV, the local NBC affiliate. UVA’s American Indian Student Union is the sponsor of the event, which offers the opportunity to discuss Thanksgiving from the perspective of Native Americans. The group says American Indians are forgotten in American society. As a result, people don’t understand the histories of native tribes or their role in Thanksgiving.”
As folks who think that we shouldn’t be beholden to a starving populace of pioneers’ idea of what a feast should look like (turkey over steaks? really?), we kind of agree. But then, if there’s one thing more annoying than having to give the up the only good part — turkey leg — to our niece (who won’t finish it anyways), it’s hippies.
5.) Nothing to see here — We can’t trust their water or their cops, but take the Mexican government’s word for it: Their terrorists are good, Catholic terrorists. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle reports:
“Last week, the House Homeland Security Committee Subcommittee on Oversight, Investigations and Management released a report titled ‘A Line in the Sand: Countering Crime, Violence and Terror at the Southwest Border.’ The report found that the ‘Southwest border has now become the greatest threat of terrorist infiltration into the United States.’ It specifically cited a ‘growing influence’ from Iranian and Hezbollah terror forces in Latin America. The Mexican government disagreed with that assessment. ‘The Government of Mexico, as it has done in the past, reiterates that no such relationship or presence exists,’ Ricardo Alday, a spokesman for Mexico’s ambassador to the United States, wrote in a letter to The Daily Caller.”
You heard it, folks: Nothing to see here.