Entertainment
Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts and Jude Law in "Closer" Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts and Jude Law in "Closer"  

The do’s and don’ts of how to spend your sad, single Valentine’s Day [SLIDESHOW]

Photo of Taylor Bigler
Taylor Bigler
Entertainment Editor

Do you find yourself without a valentine this February 14? Does this make you feel worthless? Do you envision yourself dying alone on your deathbed?

Even if you are worthless and are probably going to die alone, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t exacerbate that feeling, since it is a pretty dumb holiday, regardless if you’re been married for 10 years or single for 30.

But if you should you find yourself feeling a little blue this Thursday, here are some do’s and don’ts of how to spend your evening.

Click an image below for larger version.
  • DO: Watch the 2004 film "Closer." Is it one of the most depressing movies of all time? Yes. BUT! It will make you so glad you are single and ready to mingle because of how terribly these couples treat each other.
  • DON'T: Watch "The Notebook" or any similar sappy love story. It will depress you because it will make you think things like this happen when they really don't. On second thought, don't watch "The Notebook" ever. It's terrible.
  • DO or DON'T: Get really drunk. It really depends, though. Are you a happy drunk, or a sad drunk? If you are a happy drunk, go for it! But if you're the latter, you should probably abstain. We wouldn't want liquor exacerbating your loneliness.
  • DO: Avoid any charming, dimly lit French, Italian or otherwise ethnic restaurant. The only patrons will be all couples and you will be sad.
  • DO: Go to a bar. Gentlemen, Valentine's Day is the perfect time to strike. It's like going to a wedding where there is a plethora of single bridesmaids.
  • DON'T: Send yourself flowers. That is so, so pathetic.
  • DO: Go about your day and night as you usually do. February 14th is just another day in the life, just like any other day of the year. (Except Thanksgiving. That is a special day.)

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