Supposedly, the Republicans are waging a “War on Women” because they don’t want to pay for your birth control. They also want you to be able to defend yourselves against rapists, but whatever.
Chill, women, says Colorado Democrat Rep. Joe Salazar. While arguing for the disarmament of college students, Salazar says that even if women feel like they’re going to be raped, they may not, so who needs a firearm for protection?
“There are some gender inequities on college campuses. This is true. And universities have been faced with that situation for a long time. That’s why we have call boxes. It’s why we have safe zones. That’s why we have the whistles. Because you just don’t know who you’re gonna be shooting at. And you don’t know if you feel like you’re gonna be raped, or if you feel like someone’s been following you around, or if you feel like you’re in trouble, and when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop… pop around at somebody.”
You silly girls can’t be trusted to defend yourselves. Because, well, you know how you are. You can’t just go pop-popping around with your little guns because of your feelings.
Here, try this whistle instead. Check it out: TWEET-TWEEEEEET! There. Do you see any rapists around? That’s how you know it’s working.
Or go to a safe zone. It’s a zone that’s safe, or else they wouldn’t be allowed to call it that. The would-be rapist can’t follow you there, because it’s magic. What more do you want, ladies?
Salazar has since apologized, sort of:
“I’m sorry if I offended anyone. That was absolutely not my intention. We were having a public policy debate on whether or not guns make people safer on campus. I don’t believe they do. That was the point I was trying to make. If anyone thinks I’m not sensitive to the dangers women face, they’re wrong. I am a husband and father of two beautiful girls, and I’ve spent the last decade defending women’s rights as a civil rights attorney. Again, I’m deeply sorry if I offended anyone with my comments.”
If he was really sorry, he’d acknowledge how insulting it is to assume that women don’t know when they’re in danger, and that they’re trigger-happy estrogen-bombs just waiting to go off. He wasn’t talking about the dangers women face; he was promoting gun control to protect people from women.
Now shut up and go get him another beer.
. @housesalazar If the third word in your apology is “if”, then it’s not an apology. “I’m sorry IF you’re too stupid to understand.”
— Landon(@OrwellForce) February 19, 2013
Update: Don’t forget, you can also stop a rapist by puking or peeing on him. Now isn’t that better than some stupid gun?