The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller
Photo: Subway Photo: Subway  

8 alternative career paths for Lindsay Lohan to explore [SLIDESHOW]

Lindsay Lohan is an “actress,” whose only work in the past year has been a Lifetime movie, a horrible looking straight-to-Netflix movie and a cameo in the 200th “Scary Movie.” At this point, it seems pretty clear that the acting thing isn’t going too be too lucrative for her.

Now, Lohan is reportedly demanding $500,000 for an appearance in Dubai to promote Mr. Pink, an energy drink.

We know girlfriend has some financial problems, but there has got to be a better way! Don’t do this to yourself. We’ve come up with 8 jobs that you, former child star Lindsay Lohan, would be great at and you would be able to pay your mortgage.

Entertain our ideas, won’t you?

Click an image below for larger version.
  • Subway is always looking for talented sandwich artists.
  • We hear the Obama administration is looking for a new Secretary of Defense, why not toss your name out there?
  • Current TV is desperate for contributors. You probably wouldn't even have to apply.
  • Phone sex operator. You wouldn't have to leave your home, and you could make your own hours. Since something dangerous happens nearly every time you go outdoors and everyone knows you can't get to work on time, this could work out since you can make your own hours. Think about it.
  • Manti Te'o is on the market for a new fake girlfriend! All you have to do is use Twitter -- which we know you love -- and exchange flirty tweets with him. You never even have to meet him in person. In about a year, you will need to fake your own death.
  • Although he's now a married man, you could be Hugh Hefner's newest side piece. Lindsay, you already have the blonde hair, fake lips and daddy issues so this could really be lucrative for you.
  • You could be the next Paris Hilton. You practically already ARE the next Paris Hilton, just holding onto your last 15 minutes of fame. All you need is a sex tape and then you'll still be relevant for at least 10 more years.
  • The position is unpaid, but the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas is in need of new greeter since the last one -- well -- died of a heart attack.

Follow Taylor on Twitter