On Wednesday, the obviously false rumor that embattled Secretary of Defense nominee Chuck Hagel accepted money for a speaking engagement from a group allegedly called “The Friends of Hamas” was definitively debunked.
Whatever Hagel’s faults, it seemed unlikely that a man of such great ambition would actually cash a check from a group called “The Friends of Hamas,” no matter how hostile to Israel he may be. The comic absurdity of the idea boggles the mind.
But on the same day “The Friends of Hamas” scandal was put to rest, 15 different Senate sources contacted The Daily Caller to tell us that it is possible that Hagel accepted speaking fees from equally troubling organizations. (Editor’s Note: We cannot confirm the sources work in the Senate, nor can we confirm that the different sources were not the same person using different voices.)
Below, we provide for the first time 15 possible groups Chuck Hagel may have accepted funds from. To be sure, we can’t prove that he definitely accepted funds from these organizations at this time — or if these groups even exist. But we can confirm he has never denied accepting money from them.
15.) Young Americans for Genocide
14.) The Boko Haram Children’s Television Workshop
13.) The Idi Amin Culinary Collective
12.) American Anti-Jewish Committee
11.) Save the Tamil Tigers Fund
10.) Pals of Pol Pot
9.) St. Judes Hospital that Does Research on Children
8.) Union of Concerned Holocaust Deniers
7.) The Michael D. Vick Memorial Dog Fighting League
6.) The Bill and Melinda Ayers Foundation
5.) United Negro Separatist Fund
4.) David W. Koresh For The Cure
3.) Veterans of Foreign Wars Against Christmas
2.) Nebraskans for Midget Tossing
1.) Citizens for a National Jonestown Memorial