Top 10 allegations of ‘bias or hate’ at Ohio State that we swear we did not make up

Eric Owens | Editor

The combined annual cost of tuition and fees at the flagship branch of The — The — Ohio State University in Columbus is $10,037 for residents of The Buckeye State and $25,445 for everybody else.

With well over 40,000 undergrads attending the school, that’s a whole lot of money. Much of it goes to pay for the salaries (and benefits) of the employees in Ohio State’s bloated bureaucratic infrastructure.

Roughly two dozen of those employees are members of the Bias Assessment and Response Team (BART). As Ohio State’s Office of Student Life explains, these desk jockeys spring into action in response to “hate and bias-related incidents that impact all or a significant portion of the university community.”

As Campus Reform reports, BART can respond to cases by merely documenting them (the fate of most incidents) or by more draconian measures such as referring them to Student Judicial Affairs or the campus police.

So, what are the intolerable, criminal acts to which the Bias Assessment and Response Team has responded since 2008? Have there been lynchings? Are Nazis and Stalinists overrunning Ohio Stadium?

Not exactly. However, someone did mistake a piñata string for a noose back in 2010. BART was all over that one. And BART is always there when tender reeds at OSU are pained by insults, especially if those insults come in the form of heartless bathroom graffiti.

Ohio State’s Bias Assessment and Response Team has helpfully published Bias-Related Incident Summary Reports dating from September, 2008 to December 2010.

The sum of the reports is hilarious. You would only stop laughing if you were to consider that what’s really going on here is political correctness run dangerously amok — at a public, taxpayer-funded institution.

Here are the top 10 reports:

10. Dismissive actions towards cultural viewpoint (November 8, 2010)

How is it possible to complain to administrators that someone is dismissing your “cultural viewpoint” without dismissing that very person’s cultural viewpoint when you complain?

9. Sexual harassment comments about a platonic relationship (May 9, 2010)

“We’re not having sex. I told you: we’re just friends. That’s it! I’m telling the Bias Assessment and Response Team.”

8. Roommate tried to pull person out of his bed (May 9, 2010)

When a dude tries to pull another dude out of his bed, is it bias? Or is it hate? Racism, maybe? Sleepism?

7. Derogatory word for gay male used in Facebook conversation (April 16, 2010)

The student who actually reported this to BART is simply not going to make it in the real world.

6. Inappropriate/Public disclosure of other’s sexual identity (November 9, 2009)

The resolution for this one was that BART contacted the victim, who no doubt wanted to discuss his or her sexual identity at length with a stranger.

5. Mass email about the immorality of homosexuality (April 19, 2010)

If there’s one thing we know it’s that people who think homosexuality is some kind of sin must never be allowed to utter their unpopular opinions. That’s in the First Amendment, right?

4. Offensive comments about positive portrayal of homosexual relationship in photos (January 9, 2010)

When someone criticized a picture of happy gay people in love, BART convened immediately.

3. Through an anonymous online assessment, a student claimed the use of American Indian Costumes (November 26, 2008)

Could it have been on Halloween a few weeks before? Just thinking out loud here…

2. Religious speaker on campus spoke about immorality of homosexuality on OSU campus (May 7, 2010)

The school labeled this event as verbal abuse. Not constitutionally-protected speech, you understand, but verbal abuse.

1. Left over piñata string perceived as noose (March 2, 2010)

What could we possibly say to add to this comedy gold?

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