Choosing George Clooney’s next girlfriend [SLIDESHOW]

George Clooney is on the market. Again.

The erstwhile Dr. Doug Ross has reportedly called it quits with his lady friend of nearly two years, Stacy Keibler. Because Clooney is either gay, a perpetual bachelor or a perpetual, gay bachelor, this is far from a surprise to anyone who follows his all-important dating habits.

In case you need a refresher course, Clooney has something of a pattern when it comes to women. He tends to go for completely random Las Vegas cocktail waitresses, unknown foreign models or D-list former WWE wrestlers. The Cloonster is then photographed with the chosen one during the start of Hollywood awards season for about a year when his publicist then puts out a breakup press release. This cycle has repeated itself countless times.

Keibler lasted several months longer than Clooney’s conquests usually do, but even she got the boot.

Now it’s time for Clooney to select his next 18-month long girlfriend. To make things a bit easier for him — or whoever the person on his payroll is that selects his girlfriends — here is a list of 7 eligible women that fit (most of) his criteria.

Click an image below for larger version.
  • OK, just go with this for a second. Both George Clooney and Rihanna need an image shakeup. Clooney needs to do something extreme so he isn't seen as an old fuddy-duddy, and Rihanna needs to clean up her act a little bit. These two could actually be good for each other, no? It's not like either wants to settle down. They just need to PRETEND like they do. It's showbusiness. (Photo: Rihanna/ Instagram)
  • Australian model Sophie Turner is foreign, tall and blonde. Pros: She's like a combination of Clooney's last two girlfriends. Cons: She has (allegedly) had both breast and butt implants. Clooney's position on plastic surgery is unknown. (Photo: Sophie Turner/ Instagram)
  • Clooney hasn't been able to cross off swimsuit model from his dating checklist. Pros: Brazilian model Julia Pereira doesn't speak much English, so Clooney would not have to talk to her. Cons: Clooney might not interest her if she has other wealthy suitors, which she most certainly does. (Photo: Julia Pereira/ Twitter)
  • Ashley Greene is so desperate for fame, she would totally date Clooney who is twice her age. Pros: She is beautiful and desperate. Cons: The "Twilight" actress might just be TOO desperate for Clooney (and perhaps too young). (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week)
  • Maria Menounos is famous, but not too famous. Pros: She has her own job and money as a host for Extra, and she is also frequently photographed in a bikini. Cons: She might have too good of a reputation, and she might overshadow Clooney if she gets any more famous. (Photo: Getty)
  • Actress Roxanne Pallett is brunette, British and unknown in the U.S. -- something Clooney has liked in the past. Pros: She has a British accent and is often photographed in a bikini. Cons: At 30, she's a little green for Clooney, who has avoided women who are too young, presumably out of fear of being seen as a creepy old man. (Photo: Getty)
  • Brandi Glanville fits Clooney's requirements of being tall, thin and single. Pros: This "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star is a C-list celebrity in her own right. Cons: She has two kids, which is a Clooney no-no. (Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for Children's Hospital Los Angeles)

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