“Calm down, sir, you can have it back in a minute. Let me just scroll through here… Oh, that’s lovely, is that Aruba? And I see you were there on your honeymoon. Wow. You two are certainly… flexible! Okay, okay, stop whining, just a sec… There it is. Oh my god, do I really look like that? Ugh. Aaaaaaand… delete. See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? Here’s your stupid phone back. Now beat it.”
(Hat tip: Me)