While many Grammy nominees were celebrating at Sunday night’s awards show, one purposefully chose not to attend.
Gospel singer Mandisa was noticeably absent from the show, where she won two Grammy Awards for her song and album “Overcomer.” The singer wrote to her fans on her official Facebook page Monday to explain her decision to stay home, revealing much of it was faith-based.
“At 4PM yesterday, I was not glammed up in a fancy gown, sitting in my seat at the Grammy Award Pre-Telecast, listening to the man reading the nominee list for Best Gospel/Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) Performance, Best CCM Song, and Best CCM Album,” Mandisa wrote. “I was rockin’ some purple sweats, sitting in front of my computer, watching the live stream online.”
She went on to reveal her “utter shock” and “immediate flood of tears” when learning that she was a two-time Grammy winner.
While Mandisa made clear that she was more than honored to be nominated for a Grammy she also offer some “brutal truth” as to why she did not attend the event.
“Yes, both times I have gone to the Grammys I have witnessed performances I wish I could erase from my memory, and yes, I fast forwarded through several performances this year; but my reason is not because of them, it’s because of me,” she wrote.
She wrote that she has been struggling with living in a world with the “alluring pull of flesh, pride and selfish desires” and admitted to having fallen prey to these desires “quite a bit recently.”
“I knew that submerging myself into an environment that celebrates those things was risky for me at this time,” she wrote. “I am taking steps to renew my mind to become the Heavenly Father-centered, completely satisfied with Jesus, and Holy Spirit-led woman I felt I was a few months ago.”
Mandisa did not specify exactly what issues she has been dealing with but continued by writing that she is “feeling a bit like an infant learning to walk again”.
“Perhaps being alone with Him as my name was announced was protecting myself from where my flesh would have tried to drag me had I been up on that stage,” she wrote.
The singer, however, made a point to acknowledge the fact that Christians should never stay in their “safe Christian bubbles” and encouraged fans to mix with the general population, share their faith and live, look, and speak differently so that they “shine.”
Apart from her faith, Mandisa also cited her busy tour schedule, her doubt that she would actually win an award, and her dislike of people scrutinizing how she looks and what she is wearing as reasons for her absence.
There is still a chance we may see Mandisa at a future awards show, as she ended her post on a lighter more hopeful note.
“So yeah, should I ever be nominated again, and I’m feeling up to it, I’ll go,” she said. “I recognize that I may feel a bit like an alien in a strange land, but Jesus, friend of sinners, felt that way and still managed to shine…by His Holy Spirit, so can I!”