Bragging rights 

“The President of the States spoke to only one show after his State of the Union address. You happen to be watching it right now.” — CNN’s Jake Tapper, host of “The Lead,” boasting of a big post SOTU interview he had with President Obama in Waukesha, Wis.

On women and weight issues 

“Every woman looks in the mirror and sees Chris Christie.” — The Daily Caller‘s Patrick Howley.

F%&k the owl, how’s the bus? 

“The media keeps reporting that the snow owl is in ‘stable condition’ after hitting a bus. But the media won’t tell us how the bus is doing.” — C-SPAN Communications Director Howard Mortman.

Famous last words…

“My aversion to cameras protects me from doing so many stupid things.” — TheBlaze‘s T. Becket Adams.

Life wisdom with Marion Barry

“Show the world what you are made of.You w/be more proud than the day u bought the team, for this will be the day that you redeemed the team.” — D.C. Councilman Marion Barry.

Gayle King questions Nurtisystem spokesman’s fatness 

On @CBSThisMorning @GayleKing asks Nutrisystem spokesman Dan Marino about his weight loss: “Were you Fatty McFatFat?” — The Hill‘s Judy Kurtz.

MSNBC’s Nicolle Wallace has done what? 

“Nicolle Wallace has written three… THREE novels about a ‘First Dude?’ Who is her lit agent?” — Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman.

The Nation founder forgives CNN’s Justin Bieber coverage 

“Forgiving @CNN for wall to wall Justin B coverage — now have great The British Invasion documentary!!” — The Nation‘s Katrina vanden Heuvel.

RNC flack wants status in chili contest 

“If you are a judge for a chili cook-off is it okay to have everyone refer to you as Your Honor?” — RNC Spokesman Sean Spicer.

Travel Bitches 

“@DeltaAssist the 9am didn’t have a pilot – canceled. 10am had no functioning plane – canceled. Whadaya got planned for 11am? Excited!” — CNN’s Tapper.

Happy Birthday to Politico’s Dylan Byers BuzzFeed’s Katherine Miller.