The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

‘There’s nothing complex about the Keystone Pipeline!’ Boehner urges Obama to approve project

Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner mocked a reporter who called the Keystone XL Pipeline a “complex” issue on Monday. “There’s nothing complex about the Keystone Pipeline!” he thundered. “It’s time to build it.”

The unlucky reporter felt the Ohio congressman’s wrath after he asked if it was fair to use “something as complex as the Keystone Pipeline” as a bargaining tool in negotiations with President Obama. The White House has held up the project for over five years.

“You think the Keystone Pipeline is complex?” Boehner scoffed. “It’s been under study for five years! We build pipelines everywhere in America every day. Do you realize there are 200,000 miles of pipelines in the United States? And the ONLY reason that the president is involved in the Keystone Pipeline is because it crosses an international boundary.”

“Listen,” he continued, “we can build it. There’s nothing complex about the Keystone Pipeline! It’s time to build it.”

Supporters of the pipeline’s construction — which include a sizable number of congressional Democrats as well as most Republicans — have been galvanized by a recent State Department report that found no negative environmental or climate consequences stemming from the pipeline’s construction and use.

But don’t tell that to MSNBC contributor Dr. Reese Halter, a conservation biologist and author of that timeless classic, “The Insatiable Bark Beetle.” Ignoring host Craig Melvin’s invocation of the State Department study, the visionary biologist foretold an apocalyptic future should President Obama approve the Keystone XL.

“The consequences of burning these heat-trapping fuels from the oil sands on our environment are EPIC,” he declared. “The western United States, including the semi-arid region from North Dakota all the way to Texas, will develop semi-permanent droughts. A dustbowl in the midwest will expand. The economic losses are incalculable. AND the Central Valley in California could no longer be irrigated. The price of food would rise to an unprecedented level!”

Of course, China will inevitably buy the Canadian oil if America fails to do so — meaning the doctor’s doomsday climate prophesies will still come to pass, perhaps even sooner given the communist nation’s penchant for dirtier methods of combustion. And the Central Valley in California is already no longer irrigated – not due not to climate change, but an environmental regulation aimed at protecting one species of fish.

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