The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

We really don’t care that you’re gay, gay people

Hi. So, you’re gay, you say? As in homosexual? Oh.


There you go. That’s basically my reaction. I do not care. You are not threatening to me (unless you actually threaten me, verbally and/or physically, which I hope you don’t do). I don’t hate you (unless you’re talking on your cellphone in line at the grocery store while the clerk is trying to get your attention). I may not agree with you on a particular issue, but it’s not because of your sexual orientation (unless the issue is ice dancing or intramural softball).

If I make a joke at gay people’s expense, as I just attempted to do, it doesn’t mean I want you to be wiped from the planet. It means I made a joke.

Not necessarily the deepest thoughts ever expressed, but they’ve been in my head all week during my move. Between Michael Sam and Ellen Page, it’s been a good week for mid-level talents to come out of the closet. I never had strong feelings one way or another about either of them before, and I don’t now. (Well, I really hated Page in Super, but I hated everything else about that movie too.)

I’m not claiming to speak for anybody but myself. But there are more of us on the conservative-libertarian spectrum than you might think. A lot of people are just in the gay-tolerance closet.

That’s why, when I see headlines like “Why the Curious Right-Wing Silence on Michael Sam?” by Dave Zirin at The Nation, I just have to laugh. “What’s wrong with you teabaggers? Why aren’t you conforming to Zirin’s stereotype of you?” Maybe right-wingers are silent, Dave, because there’s nothing to say. He’s gay. Why should I care? Let him [ahem] rise or fall on his own merits in his career of choice.

The long answer is: Most people in 2014 America couldn’t care less if you’re gay, so just try to relax.

The short answer is: See previous sentence.

P.S. And before you bring up Fred Phelps, keep in mind that he’s a registered Democrat who campaigned for Al Gore. Okay, now go ahead.

P.P.S. I just realized that this is the worst headline ever composed, but I’m too tired to change it.