The best part about this app by Dirk Malorny — Is it Dark Outside? — is how simple it makes a complicated question. Now you can spend less time looking at the world around you and more time staring at your iPhone. (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

This free app will allow you to cringe whenever you see the lovely icon on your phone, AND give you the chance to “psychologically torment those around you.” Thank you, Zachary Nagengast! (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Poop Scoop, by David Garson, allows you to map and share your encounters with dog poop. “Become your neighborhood poop snoop with poop scoop.” (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Idestroy, by Stark Apps Gmbh, is not as dumb as some of the other apps on this list, since it at least performs the legitimate function of helping you manage your frequent urges to destroy stuff. Purchase 200,000 DPI for just $75 and get even more opportunities to “shoot, cut, destroy and blast thousands of bugs at the same time!” (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Why exercise or change your diet when you can simply stare at your phone for 45 minutes and lose weight? (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

With Instalikes Pro, by DaLin Chen, you can get “sincere LIKEs from your real friends.” With more likes on Instagram for mediocre pictures, you can feel really good about your social status! (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Weight scale for iPhone, by The Hatch, lets you weigh yourself with just your phone, a piece of cardboard and a mattress. Thank God you don’t have to deal with those inconvenient scales! “*Important Note: It’s best to limit the number of weigh-ins per day to no more than 2 because your bed will start to get mashed down where you’ve been standing and it needs time to recover.” (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

MyRazor Lite, by Blackbird, allows you to pretend to shave in front of your friends. To make it really realistic, you can pay 99 cents for the full version, which makes it look like your phone is catching the hair as you shave. This is just dumb. (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Hey, let’s not text via Instagram. Part of the fun of Instagram is not dealing with words and sticking to pictures. Textgram, by click2mobile. (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

The Little Application that Does Nothing, by lyedah, is especially dumb because it DOES do something: It wastes your time. (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

If you are constantly running water in your bathroom to keep your spouse from hearing you use the toilet, Akatu Fake Shower, by PorQueNao? is for you. You could save so much water. Plus, your spouse will never guess you didn’t actually take a shower! (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)

Thanks to the NSA, apps such as Snap-Hack and your friends’ screenshot abilities, your Snapchats are definitely no longer private and are probably still around. Use Snapchat to embarrass yourself and others, be creepy and confusing, and share irrelevant information with people you don’t otherwise talk to. (Photo: App Store / Screenshot)