General Peanut Gallery
“It would be awesome if all those statues behind Ellen came to life and started eating the audience.” — Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld.
“Thank you Sally Field for looking normal.” — HuffPost’s Jason Cherkis.
“Did they run out of black people? Oh wait, it’s Hollywood…of course they did. #Oscars” – Hollywood Reporter.
“I want every book on tape to be read by Ewan McGregor and Viola Davis.” — Exec. Dir. of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee Guy Cecil.
“Embarrassed to admit I opened twitter so I could find and retweet that selfie. Where is it?!” — HuffPost’s Elise Foley.
“Charlize. Dior. Looks gorgeous. Dress was still being made a day ago.” — ABC News reporter Cynthia McFadden.
“Charlize and Thor? This should be illegal.” — CNN’s Brianna Keilar.
“Really can’t look at Matthew McConaughey w/o that epic Magic Mike performance coming to mind every time. And I’m okay with that.#Oscars” — Elizabeth Cherneff, associate producer CNN’s “Reliable Sources.”
“Ellen DeGeneres is the most popular entertainer in the country. Could she find no one to give her non-lame material? #Oscars” — New York Magazine and Veep producer Frank Rich.
“Enough selfie stunts. We get it.” — CBS White House radio reporter Mark Knoller.
BuzzFeed reporter wants sex with Leo
“Hello Leonardo Dicaprio, might I interest you in a front row seat to my cervix?” — BuzzFeed reporter Tracy Clayton a.k.a. Brokey McPoverty, who also has a thing for Charlize: “Charlize in this dreeeessss I just want to make out with everybody at the Oscars.”
“That dress is a little booby.” — ClearChannel’s Colby Hall.
“Jim Carrey presenting? Whose career is in the Witness Protection Program? Little wonder he said, ‘Don’t patronize me’ to the applause.'” — Nikki Finke.
Potential outrage
“Oh I’m so so so glad Ellen didn’t confuse Samuel L. Jackson for Lawrence Fishburne.” — CNN’s Ana Navarro.
“This U2 song is awful. And I’m a huge U2 fan.” — Politico‘s Maggie Haberman.
Jared Leto Fan Club
“Kind of in love with Jared Leto.” — Liv Petersen, director of communications for Politico.
“Why won’t Obama lead like Jared Leto?” — The Daily Beast‘s Ben Jacobs.
“Team Jared Leto!” — Washington Post and MSNBC’s Jonathan Capehart.
Rosie Gray: “Hate on Leto all you want, that was really great.”
Kate Nocera: “Also his mom is frigging beautiful.”
Rosie Gray: “Right? I want to be her.”
Harrison Ford feedback
“There’s simply no way Harrison Ford can not be sexy.” — Jimmy Williams.
“Wow has Harrison Ford ever looked hotter?#silverfox #oscars” — Rachel Sklar.
“Harrison Ford’s earring must have a twitter account, right?” — Washington Post‘s Mike Debonis.
Plastic surgery in Hollywood? What?!
“And the #Oscar for Most Plastic Surgery goes to…” — Essence Magazine.
“Some unfortunate plastic surgery on display tonight. #Oscars” — CNBC and NYT’s John Harwood.
“Plastic surgery sucks. Just wrecks people’s faces & character. #Oscars #KimNovak” — CNN’s Piers Morgan.
“Stop tweeting criticism of Kim Novak, you will be old one day, too, and not look as good#Oscars2014” — Joe Strupp, Media Matters.
“Writing my last Sunday night newsletter with the Oscars on in the background and a full glass of champagne in my hand. Not too bad.” — Politico Pro’s Libby Nelson.
“Meryl Streep doesn’t do plastic surgery. She prides herself on that. But for those who do. Be kind. #Oscars2014” — motivational author, freelancer and radio host Sophia Nelson.
And the ridiculous…
“I should host the #Oscars just to shake things up.” — future potential possible (but likely never) governor or president Donald Trump.
