The Mirror

Afternoon Mirror

It’s not like TPM needs the internet to work or anything  “So now @TWC has canceled the appointment to repair the internet at our NYC office with no explanation. Just amazing.” — Talking Points Memo‘s Nick Martin.

Overheard… “OH: ‘Do you think I can get Tinder verified?” #thistown” — Politico‘s Juana Summers.

Ahem, who is a ‘straight up ho?’ 

“You know what? Fuck HuffPo. They should be called PuffPo because Arianna Huffington is a straight up ho and all they do are puff pieces.” — Jonah Ryan, a reporter from Ryantology.net in the latest episode of HBO’s Veep.

Journo marvels over trio of ‘breasts’ in sentence 

“I also found out how many times I can use the word ‘breast’ in a single sentence. Turns out, it’s 3.” — Washington Examiner‘s Ashe Schow in a story on all the unusual things you can deduct on your tax return. And the sentence? “We’ve all heard the story of the stripper who wrote off her breast enlargement as a business expense, but did you know that women can deduct expenses for breast reconstruction surgery if they’ve has a mastectomy due to breast cancer?”

Double your annoyance 

“Well, this is a new automated PR email fuckup: ‘Hi KateKate!’” – BuzzFeed Chief Los Angeles Correspondent Kate Arthur.

Relationship issues 

“How do you tell someone, ‘I realize you’re an adult who should know this but perhaps you could blow your nose and stop being disgusting.’” — Neal Dewing, a writer for Pocket Full of Liberty.

Benny Johnson criticizes himself 

“Cat GIF Maker Benny Johnson wishes you a happy Tuesday. Tweeting in the 3rd person looks weird. Don’t do it.” – BuzzFeed‘s Benny Johnson.

Shoshana on fire

“Petulant children, like petulant writers and tweeters, gain attention – not respect.” – Shoshana Weissman, a writer for Red Alert Politics who also works for Network Red, which connects Republicans to jobs, internships, and events.

A question we should all occasionally ask ourselves 

“Why do I do this to myself?” – TheBlaze‘ T. Becket Adams. 

Bridge-to-heaven

Michael Bloomberg says he’s getting into heaven 

“If he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation, he said with a grin: ‘I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.’” — a story by NYT‘s Jeremy Peters with ex-NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg on starting a new grass-roots anti-gun organization. Read the full story

And in reaction… “Funny how so many of the people mocking Bloomberg for his heaven calculus must believe he couldnt get there in the first place.” — Todd Zwillich, The Takeaway’s Capitol Hill radio reporter.

“Heaven is probably like an upscale condo building, right? Stride past the doorman like you’re supposed to be there and nobody questions you.” — NYT’s Josh Barro.