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White House blames fox for destroying Michelle’s garden

Vince Coglianese Editorial Director
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The White House is going to war with another fox — and this time, it’s personal.

The Wall Street Journal reports that a red fox has been causing chaos around the White House, tripping security alarms, digging up Michelle’s garden and distracting the president from his duties.

The Secret Service won’t give any details about how often the fox trips the White House’s obviously sophisticated security alarms, but rest assured, officials say, they’re watching.

President Obama was apparently “stunned” to see the fox roaming freely down the oft-photographed White House colonnade, home to the world’s shortest, but most dramatic, outdoor strolls.

The bushy-tailed visitor first made his appearance at the White House just before the October government shutdown, the Journal’s Carol Lee reports.

As Michelle Obama’s garden sat unattended during the shutdown, the fox “tore” through it.

Of course, that can’t stand.

The White House groundskeepers have avoided using any Second Amendment remedies to eliminate the threat to Michelle’s carrots, but they’ve reportedly laid out an array of metal traps to catch the fox — no luck so far.

They’ve also searched every shrub on the 18-acre complex for the fox’s den — again, nothing.

So for now, the most disruptive force to visit the leader of the free world since Neil Munro continues to roam unmolested.

But if the White House had its way, Fox the fox would never pester them again.

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