The U.S. is over 17 trillion dollars in debt. Here in America, we’re told it’s our “patriotic duty” to pay taxes. It’s painful, yes. But at least the government is responsible with our funds… Right?
Here are 15 ways the U.S. government has wasted your money throughout the years.
1. $297 million for a U.S. Army blimp that we never used: They had their reasons.
2. $181,406 study on how cocaine affects the sex drive of Japanese quail: Admit it. You were dying to know.
3. $3.4 million for the construction of turtle tunnels: The only logical reason you would be against this is because you hate turtles.
4. $360,000 for a “Pillownaut” study: NASA paid 20 individuals $18,000 for a Countermeasure and Functional Testing study where they spent “70 days lying in bed with their body slightly tilted downward (head down feet up).”
5. $325,525 government study that found out that wives need to “calm down.” Commissioned by America’s husbands.
6. $1.9 million for life coach classes for Senate staffers: This includes courses on how to get a good night’s sleep and how to relieve active pressure. This is completely understandable though. Can you imagine how draining it is for Harry Reid’s staffers to constantly uphold his reputation?
7. $27 million for Moroccan Pottery Classes: Embrace diversity, damn it.
8. $939, 771 on the attraction preferences of male fruit flies: Essential knowledge.
9. $278,000 in military benefits to Fort Hood shooter, Major Nadal Hasan: Wrong on so many levels.
10. $195,000 for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: Note: This “par-tay” happened five days before the government shutdown.
11. $40,810 to the Denver Museum of Miniatures, Dolls and Toys: Because you need to learn how to appreciate the small things in life.
12. $19.5 million study to Kansas State based off the speculation that cows will get skinnier: You know, because of global warming and all.
13. $10,000 federal grant to fund “Mooseltoe: A New Moosical:” Because the world needs this.
14. $384,989 study on duck genitalia: So many questions. So few answers.
15. $1.5 million on why lesbians tend to be more overweight than gay men: They have a lot of meat in their diet.