DC Trawler

BREAKING NEWS From Wendy Davis: Women Can Vote And Go To College Now

There’s a lot of talk these days about politicians catering to low-information voters. But what about all the no-information voters? Who will speak for them?

Wendy Davis, that’s who.

 

I’m not sure if they get somebody else to iron their pants for them, or if they just walk around in messy pants. The point is, now they get to choose!

That’s why you should vote for Wendy Davis. Because she has a vagina, not a penis, and she sends out her dry cleaning.

She also thinks you’re utterly ignorant of American history, and possibly an outright illiterate. If she’s right, be sure to get somebody to drive you to the polls this November and show you which box to check. (No, it won’t have her picture. Hey, how are you even reading this?)