DC Trawler

Jennifer Lawrence And Kate Upton Nude!

A bunch of celebrities had their iCloud accounts hacked and a bunch of nude pictures of them flooded the Internet. Think pieces were written about how this should serve as a warning to everyone, and how best to avoid it happening to you.

I’ll save all of you time and put everything you need to know about avoiding naked pictures of you hitting the Internet – DON’T TAKE NUDE PICTURES OF YOURSELF, AND DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE TAKE ANY OF YOU!

Problem solved.

These nudes were probably taken to show or send to their significant others. Whatever the reason, here’s a peek into the mind of a man: We don’t really care.

That may sound weird and counterintuitive, but it’s true.

If we’ve seen you naked already, we’ve seen you naked already. That’s not to say we didn’t like, and we don’t want to see it again as soon as possible, because we do. But ladies, here’s a secret: no matter how good you look naked, it would be impossible for you to look as good naked in a picture as you do in our memories. Airbrushing has nothing on the memory of man thinking about a woman he’s been with.

And if, on the off chance you’re sending naked pictures to someone who hasn’t seen you naked yet, we don’t want to see you nude for the first time on a screen that’s only 4 inches big.

There’s really no positive outcome in this situation.

That being said, I ain’t complaining. By all means, hot young actresses, keep taking nude pictures of yourselves. Everyone in the world you never, ever want to see you with your clothes off appreciates the hell out of it.

People can forget, the Internet will not. And now, thanks to the Internet, millions of teenage boys never will either.