Stranger things have happened. But perhaps the oddest turn of events that could arise involving the ginger-haired villain journalist Charles C. Johnson is that he may one day run for Congress.
It’s on his bucket list. And when it comes to goals and publishing the full name of the UVA rape accuser, Charles is nothing if not relentless. He also loves to threaten to sue journalists who write crap about him he says is wrong and libelous. Front and center on his er, shit list right now is freelancer Jacob Silverman, who wrote a story on Johnson for Politico Magazine that prompted calls to Johnson’s alleged Los Angeles attorney and this wildly critical story on Johnson’s GotNews website.
Speaking of shit, Johnson has been fighting his way through quite a shitstorm lately over whether he ever shit on the floor in college — he says it wasn’t him. But that hasn’t stopped his foes from shit talking on Twitter and making endless poop jokes.
Hey, say it can’t happen, but we’ve had other colorful redheads in the powerful House of Representatives — think ex-Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-R.I.), who, in an early morning Ambien haze, drove his green Mustang convertible into a barrier surrounding the dome. Or, if you want a Republican, there’s former Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.), who is now the Florida Commissioner of Agriculture. Putnam was exactly Johnson’s age when he came to Congress in 2001. Joseph Patrick Kennedy III, another redhead, replaced Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) in his 2012 bid for Congress. BuzzFeed‘s Community section went to great lengths to mention that he’s incredibly hot with his blue eyes, an attractive side profile and a great sense of humor.
Perhaps the most unusual congressional redhead of them all was former Rep. Tim Johnson (R-Ill.), who used to pace the halls of the Capitol personally calling constituents on his cell phone. Sometimes the seriously skinny lawmaker would do so with his belt unbuckled and wearing a red silk disco shirt.
Today, however, we go more in-depth with Johnson, the most infamous carrot top journo of them all (for this week, anyway). Don’t be surprised if one day you see a Rep. in front of his name. Let’s test the title out just for kicks: Rep. Charles C. Johnson (R-Calif.).
Has a certain ring to it, right?
Full disclosure: Johnson has written stories for The Daily Caller in the capacity of a freelancer. He and TheDC parted ways at the beginning of 2014.
Moving on to the Questionnaire…
Bona Fides
Hometown: Boston, Mass.
Age: 26
Named for: My great grandfather who was an inventor
First job ever: Selling women’s clothing at my parents’ store, being a paperboy
Current employment: Editor, founder of Gotnews.com
If someone wants to get on your good side, what candy or liquor should they ply you with? I drink a lot of old fashions.
Most exotic place you’ve ever visited: Bali or possibly Guatemala
Why do you think Washington is so polarized? And please consider your answer in terms of boring us. Technically, we are all polarized by the earth’s magnetic field.
Who is your celebrity crush? Keira Knightley or Rose McGowan
Least favorite word: I love the English language. I wouldn’t part with a single word. I want to import other language’s words.
A thought that makes you want to cry: That one day all of social media will be a graveyard of dead people who we can’t interact with anymore.
Weirdest habit you’ve observed in a newsroom (workplace) setting? Conformity.
Time you spend on Twitter each day (be honest): I’m never off Twitter unless I’m kicked off, sleeping, or hanging with my long suffering wife.
If you had to kiss a politician who would it be? Marilinda Garcia or Mia Love
Queen Latifah or Dr. Oz? Obviously Queen Latifah.
Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer? Ewwwwww
What’s next for you? What would you do with your life if absolutely nothing could stop you? I plan on making and selling a lot of companies for as long as possible. I want to change the world. Nothing has ever stopped me—only delayed me.
If you could encapsulate your predominant life philosophy in a phrase or a mantra, what would it be? If people can believe your life, you haven’t lived it.
Do you believe in 5-year plans? If so, where do you hope to be in 5 years? Yes, of course. I plan to be on my second company or in Congress or perhaps both.
Stolen from Inside the Actors Studio: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Well, that was an entertaining life. I clicked on your life a lot and followed you on Twitter.”
Pick one: Homeland or Scandal? I’m too busy making scandals than to watch them, though Kerry Washington is hotter than Claire Danes.
Pick one: CNN’s New Day, Morning Joe or Fox and Friends? Charlie Rose. I don’t own a TV so I watch everything online.
ABC’s GMA or NBC’s TODAY Show? I go to bed when these shows air.
If you had to have a U.S. senator or congressman as your father who would it be? Ted Cruz. He’s a brawler. I dig it.
Since this is The Mirror Questionnaire, what would you change about yourself physically if you could? I’d probably be either more or less fat.
And your personality? I probably would smile more.
Preferred beach anywhere in the world: Coronado
Guilty pleasure TV show: The Walking Dead.
The snack you eat most: Seaweed
On a scale of 1 to 10, how self-obsessed are you? (10 being you can’t tear yourself away from your own daily Google search and 1 meaning you often spend time in the country away from your computer and don’t give a crap about your Klout score.) Probably a 9. Okay, I’m lying. An 11. I like to track the ripples I make in the world.
Workout regimen: Listening to political videos as I go on the elliptical.
Pick one – flabby thighs, cankles or love handles? Love handles
Choose: Beautiful eyes, best personality or perfect legs? Eyes.
A thought that brings you great joy: My work
A regret (of any kind): Not doing my work enough.
Mika and Joe or Oprah and Steadman? Are you trying to suggest I am a racist?
Any brushes with death? If so, please describe. Yes, quite a few.
Just a preference Q: Bo or Sunny? Both are tasty snacks.
Most annoying thing your editor (boss) does: I am my own boss.
Rank how hairy your butt is: 1 to 10? A gentleman never tells.
Go for a stroll in the park with one of the following and explain the reason for your choice. 1. Rosie O’Donnell, The View. 2. CNN’s Chris Cuomo. 3. FNC’s Megyn Kelly. I think Megyn Kelly is pretty good looking and it never hurts to walk in the park with a good looking woman.
When was the last time you were, if ever, naked outside? Yesterday to get the mail.
From The Sunday Times’ Toby Harnden: If you could tell one person to their face that they’re full of shit, with no consequences, who would it be? Paul Gigot, editor-in-chief of the Wall Street Journal.
From Al Jazeera’s David Shuster: If you had to watch or read a news report in a language you didn’t understand, what language would it be and why? I speak and read all of the languages that I want to speak and read. And the ones I don’t speak, my wife does.
From lefty radio host Bill Press: Where’s the one place in Washington you’d love to have sex, but can’t? There are a lot of people who want to ask a lot of dirty questions.
From former Rep. Weiner’s ex-phone sex partner Sydney Elaine Leathers: Who is the worst journalist on your favorite news channel? I don’t watch TV really.
From Washington Free Beacon’s Lachlan Markay: Which universally acclaimed piece of literature, art, film, or music can you simply not stand? I never liked The Color Purple.
From SiriusXM’s Julie Mason: What is the lie you always tell about yourself? What a deeply depressing question. The truth shall set you free, man.
From freelancer and journalism prof Steve Friess: If you were the opposite of your sexual orientation, name three people you’d sleep with. Weird question from a journalism professor!
From Stateless Media’s Peter Savodnik: Why do you matter? Because I do better research than most people with personality.
From New York Post’s Tara Palmeri: If you could give one politician or talking head a makeover, who would it be and what would you do? Probably Greg Gutfeld. He’s a little too self-assured.
From Mediaite’s Editor-in-Chief Andrew Kirell: Which book would you bring to a book burning? [Don’t say you’re against book burning. We all are.] The Koran because I’m not a pussy.
From motivational blogger and author Sophia Nelson: What do you want people to say about you, not when you die, but as you live? I want them to spell my name properly and to be fair. (Editor’s note: Johnson explains people often forget the middle C. initial in his name.)
Please provide a question for the next lucky victim of The Mirror Questionnaire. Make it good. It may live on indefinitely. What is one idea that you have that you are certain is true that no one else has?