The following is an actual statement made by a non-fictional person in real life.
NYC’s favorite Sandinistan has just changed the meaning of two words: “citizen” and “moron.” Jennifer Fermino, NYDN:
Mayor de Blasio on Monday launched the city’s new Municipal ID program, a New Yorker-only identification card expected to help thousands of undocumented immigrants.
The cards, which look similar to a driver’s license, are available to anyone over age 14 who can prove that he or she lives in the five boroughs. The applicant’s immigration status won’t be asked.
“It’s going to open so many doors,” de Blasio said in unveiling the new cards at the Flushing branch of the Queens library. “We don’t want any New Yorkers to feel like second class citizens.”
Did you get that last part? Wait, let’s rewind it:
“We don’t want any New Yorkers to feel like second class citizens.”
I’ll give you a moment.
If I need to explain to you how stupid and wrong this is, I’m not sure how you’re able to operate a knife and fork, let alone a computer. But here it is, for the cheap seats:
Indeed, non-citizens are not second-class citizens. They’re not citizens at all.
I’m a citizen of the United States of America. I was born here, I’ve lived here all my life, and thanks to Obamacare, I’ll die here sooner than I ever expected. I’m not a citizen of Canada, or France, or Papua New Guinea, or South Korea, or Swaziland, or anyplace else. This doesn’t make me better than any citizen of any other country, in and of itself. (Just stay with me here, patriots.) It’s not somehow an insult to point out that a citizen of another country isn’t a citizen of the United States. It’s simply a fact.
Now, if I want to go live and work in another country, like Canada or France or Papua New Guinea or South Korea or Swaziland or anyplace else, there are ways to do that. Each country has these things called laws, and some of those laws determine the things that non-citizens can and can’t do in that country. Heck, if I decide I like living there better than living in the U.S.A. (hang in there, troops), I can even try to become a citizen of that country. And if I follow whatever rules they’ve written and jump through whatever hoops they make me jump through, maybe they’ll let me in.
Or maybe they won’t.
If they don’t, I can’t just declare myself a citizen. Okay, I guess I can, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to listen. They’ll kick my ass out, and well they should.
De Blasio? More like #DerpBlasio.
Oh wait, I forgot: We’re all citizens of the world, aren’t we? A shy unicorn just trotted down a glittering rainbow and gently whispered that in my ear. Never mind, everybody.
Documents for the undocumented! Citizenship for all! Revolución por otros medios!
(Hat tip: Noah Rothman, CNS)