What kind of a writer discloses in a hit piece on Maxi dresses that she has extremely large breasts?
Jezebel‘s brash Sarah Miller. That’s who.
In a poignant story published Thursday, Miller takes the reader on a meandering journey of her complete and utter hatred of the Maxi dress. For males who may be reading this and don’t know what the hell a Maxi dress is, it’s a long flowing dress that can get pretty tight in the bust area but leaves a lot to the imagination in the torso and thigh areas.
The writing is crisp and thorough. But her hatred of the Maxi dress leaves a reader wondering about her psychological makeup — i.e., is she nuts?
Miller inserts a lot of herself in the story. Probably TMI.
“I have dim memories of my mom and some of her friends in maxi dresses in the ‘70s and thinking they were pretty nice. Granted, my mother was not gifted/cursed with the enormous breasts I have which have ensured that I have never owned one, because, truly: as bad as maxi dresses look on everyone, they are absolutely the worst on my body type, which is tall and busty. If you are tall and have a big rack and you’re thinking about getting a maxi dress, find me on Twitter and I will actually take time out of sipping nettle tea and rearranging my collection of flattering fit-and-flare dresses to talk you out of it.”
She did land the expert opinion on the dress from Stacy London (the famed former host of What Not To Wear). London sees the pitfalls of the dress — petite women beware of it swallowing you alive. But busty women (like Miller) must also be on the lookout for Maxi dresses that are, um, properly supportive.
But considering the writer’s deep hate for the dress, it’s hard to imagine a time in which she might ever need to use the advice.