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Watch This HILARIOUS Video On Shark Attack Safety

Andrew Kadar Contributor
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It was a typical Sunday morning for Veronica as she made her way to church. Lucky for everyone else, she made a video on her way there. The video came in light of recent shark attacks that have created a nationwide scare for anyone vacationing at the ocean.

Veronica wanted to warn her Facebook followers to stay away from the ocean. “I want you all to be mindful,” she said. “Go to the beach. Don’t go to the ocean. The ocean is the shark’s house. And I can swim! My whole body is a floatation device. I don’t have to do nothin’ to float. But I can swim. Another thing that makes me suspect and has my negro membership card in question because most black people can’t swim,” she said.

“But I’m not going to the ocean. That’s the shark’s house. The shark has the right to eat you up when you in his house.”

“When chickens come in my house? Guess what? They get ate. When pigs come in my house they own the plate. When you go in the shark’s house, you gon’ get ate up.”

“Please be safe. Safety first. I don’t want to hear about nobody from the meat ministry being shark bait. Stay out the woods too. Don’t go fooling around with the bears either. The bears will eat you up. That’s what they’re supposed to do when you’re in their house. When animals come in my house, they end up on the plate.”

“Can you imagine how excited the shark would be to see me up on a plate in his house?! Lord Jesus, oh Lord no.”

“God love you, God keep you and stay out them oceans! Jesus!” she warned.

Words of wisdom to live by, people.

WATCH:

Andrew Kadar