Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not telling you that animals are disgusting, nauseating, vomit-inducing filth and they all need to be wiped out. That goes without saying. I’m telling you that they’re now in open revolt against the human race. And I was very nearly a casualty in their war on mankind.
The cheetah attraction at the Indianapolis Zoo remains closed as officials investigate how a cheetah got out of his main exhibit area.
It prompted the zoo to go on lockdown Sunday morning…
“Immediately, every worker was there to get everyone out of the Plains exhibit and keep them away from the exhibit,” said John Staub, who was in the exhibit with his family when zoo officials noticed the cheetah, named Pounce, outside his holding area…
Zoo officials are now investigating how Pounce got over a wall in his exhibit. He was found lying in high grass, still behind a secondary fence, but just steps away from visitors.
Read those blood-chilling words again: Just steps away from visitors.
And now for the most shocking part: A mere 12 hours before, I was in downtown Indianapolis, just blocks away from the zoo. Not a care in the world had I while this horrifying monster lay in wait, biding its time until it could attack.
Don’t worry, though, I’m okay. I escaped with my life.
This time.
It’s obvious what’s going on here. The animals don’t like what I’ve been saying about them. They want to stop the truth from getting out. They can’t account for themselves, they know what they’re doing is wrong, so they’re trying to shut up anyone who’s brave enough to tell them we’ve had enough of their crap.
Wake up, animal-huggers. This is what your precious cheetahs do when they’re not locked up like they’re supposed to be:
Of course that impala ran to humans for help. It knew we were its only hope. And as soon as the cameras went away, it went right back to running for its life. That’s what happens when you allow these vermin to roam free.
If we’re going to keep animals around, they belong in cages. Lock them all up and throw away the key. Hell, throw away the zoo. Just keep them away from us humans, because we’re better and more important than they are.
Well. I am, anyway…
Update: Whereas these people definitely aren’t.
Yes, dolphins are highly intelligent creatures. But they should not be delivering your babies http://t.co/G36N688hEP pic.twitter.com/JlrsJb0nPX
— Newsweek (@Newsweek) September 7, 2015
Update:
Leave the man alone, you bastards. It was a LION. https://t.co/1oNvAVLD7Y
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) September 8, 2015