You flew back to Washington when Scalia died, like a freshman heading into exams
You hauled those massive binders under spindly arms
On nominations you intended to cram
You had one chance to be classy, hit the funeral help our nation heal
But you’d have to lead more than half of the country
Half of the country, and…
You’re so vain, you probably should have gone to his funeral
You’re so vain, you know you should have gone to his funeral
Don’t you? don’t you?
Who within the White House gave you this advice,
that attendance wasn’t mandatory?
Tell me, was it the same person who let you chew gum
During ceremonies at Normandy?
But you’re graceless even to the ones you love, here I speak of the Mandela selfie
I was mad, but I know the First Lady was madder
First Lady was madder, and…
You’re so vain, you probably should have gone to his funeral
You’re so vain, you know you should gone to his funeral
Don’t you? don’t you?
Well I guess you will move forward with a High Court pick, one who won’t invite any scorn
I believe you’ll pick a centrist that the whole country loves
But I also believe in unicorns
Well we’re told you once taught Constitutional Law
So surely this one thing you know
Nominations can’t include yourself
Can’t include yourself, and…
You’re so vain, you probably should have gone to his funeral
You’re so vain, you know you should gone to his funeral
Don’t you? don’t you?