DC Trawler

Animal-Rights Morons Protest At St. Patrick’s Cathedral Because Of Easter Ham

Did you have ham on Easter? My family did, and it was delicious. I had leftover ham for lunch today. I enjoy eating tasty dead pigs. Animals are dumb, and I like ham and beef and chicken and all sorts of other creatures that were killed for their succulent flesh. Yummy!

Meat is also good for your health, both physically and mentally. For a timely example of the deleterious long-term cognitive effects of abstaining from animal protein, just read this item from Khristina Narizhnaya, Daniel Prendergast, and Melkorka Licea at the NY Post:

Worshipers attending Easter Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral got the scare of their lives when a band of unruly protesters disrupted the event…

A group of six animal rights protesters abruptly leaped up from a pew in the middle of the service and shouted, “Easter is a time for love! No more shedding animal blood!” while holding up signs of animals pleading for their lives.

About 20 minutes into the Rev. Damian O’Connell’s noon Mass, protester Jacob Martin, 23, rose out of his seat in the center of the church and started to walk down the aisle while shouting into a bullhorn that “only the devil” could create “animals capable of love and joy just so humans can make them suffer and die.”

See, because a lot of people eat ham on Easter Sunday. Therefore, it’s only logical to go to a church and berate people for practicing their religion.

But then, that’s nothing new for these guys. They’re the same protesters who screamed at people for going to NYC’s first Chick-fil-A restaurant. They really hate Christians and all their works.

It’s weird that these geniuses haven’t gone to a mosque to protest the consumption of shawarma, isn’t it? If they’d ever done that, certainly we would’ve heard about it. All dead animals are equal, but some dead animals are more equal than others.