Education

Harvard Blogger Imagines Chaotic Trump-Themed Mini-Golf Course

A Harvard blogger jokingly published his vision of a Trump-themed mini-golf course, which contained obstacle courses filled with white supremacists and pussy hats.

Philip Greenspun, a former MIT professor, computer scientist, educator, and internet entrepreneur, wrote the post yesterday as an entry on his Harvard blog.

“Get the ball through a Vietnamese factory in which Ivanka Trump products are being sewn,” said the instructions for Hole One on Greenspun’s course. “Each sewing machine rotates a paddle that obstructs a tunnel. Green obstructed by miniature T.J. Maxx with protesters surrounding.”

One hole fixated on Kellyanne Conway.

“Woman kneels on couch in miniature Oval Office,” said Greenspun, portraying the hole. “Fairway is an obstacle course of upright posture scolds. Green is cluttered with signs reading ‘Sisterhood is sacred, but I hate conservative bitches.’”

Two other holes consisted of players blocking “refugee balls,” triggering a vacuum to pull them back to a prison island in the South Pacific and a stock market which goes down for a bit while votes are being counted, but then climbs until players can’t put their ball over it.

Women’s March,” Greenspun said, describing Hole Seven. “Mechanical string of pussy hats drawn across the fairway. If ball gets stuck in one, 20 points are added to player’s score in the “child support” row. If there are any attorneys on the course, player makes their mortgage, car, and kids’ college tuition payments.”

Hole Ten is labeled “White Supremacy.”

“Miniature Trump comes out on the balcony of replica Linz Altes Rathaus and delivers speech that energi[z]es the white supremacists to pop up, thus preventing non-white balls from proceeding down fairway and green.”

At Greenspun’s urging, some Harvard blog readers replied to his post with their own whimsical suggestions for additional holes.

“Horde of media figures and spectators scream that your score card is hacked and invalid, call for your disqualification,” put forth one user. “Ball must hit the ‘fake news! sad!’ tweet button to avoid removal from the course.”

“Straightforward putting for hole-in-one, but New York Times bot records your score as an 8 and tries to hide the ball,” said another, who proposed eight holes. “Shoot ball up a hill into replica of Trump Tower; ball disappears inside, noisily traverses downwards and at the bottom, rolls out to enter Obama’s ear.”

The Daily Caller News Foundation reached out to Greenspun for comment.

“It is tough to provide a rationale other than not being able to rest until I’ve been defriended (for thoughtcrime) by everyone on Facebook,” wrote the former professor. “If I were rational I wouldn’t write blog entries at all, particular[ly] in this age where most people don’t look at stuff unless it is on Facebook!”

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