Comedian Kathy Griffin held a horror show of a press conference Friday, complete with tears and dick jokes.
On one hand, she reiterated her apology for posing for a picture with a bloodied beheaded President Trump. On the other, she played the victim, saying she was being silenced by the white guys at CNN, the network that canned her annual New Year’s Eve appearance this week.
None of the networks opted to carry her live suburban LA presser.
Fox News, however, livestreamed it.
She cried and cried and cried some more.
“I don’t think I will have a career after this,” Griffin said breaking down alongside her attorney Lisa Bloom.
She said Trump and his family are using her joke as a way to obfuscate his association with Russia. Bloom said her client has received death threats and has been told to not leave her home. She no longer receives deliveries or goes online. She has heard from the Secret Service.
“He broke me. He broke me. He broke me,” Griffin said, her voice cracking. “And then I was just like, this isn’t right.”
She continued, “Yeah, I may get arrested today. I don’t know.”
She essentially said Trump can kiss her ass.
“I’m not afraid of Donald Trump,” Griffin said. “He’s a bully. I’ve dealt with white guys trying to keep me down my entire career. I had learned over the years that sometimes when you do standup, people want a joke that’s out there and a little crazy. I feel horrible. I have performed in war zones. Trust me, if we could redo the whole thing I’d have a blowup doll and ketchup. If you don’t stand up you get run over. …The president and his family are trying to ruin my life forever.”
Speaking directly to the camera, she said “The Donald, it’s me, Kathy,” she said, adding that this will go “right over his nest.” She said he has messed with the wrong redhead. She followed up by calling his hairdo a “parfait” and saying she thinks first lady Melania Trump is no stranger to Nice & Easy hair dye.
On CNN firing her New Year’s Eve standup with Anderson Cooper, she said, “It’s hurtful to me. It’s a bunch of old white guys trying to silence me and that’s wrong.”
Bloom cracked that CNN founder Ted Turner would’ve never handled the incident by firing her.
At times Griffin was apologetic. But then she’d get defiant, saying she’s a comedian who will continue to make fun of Trump.
“I apologized,” she said repeatedly. “I really screwed up.”
And then: “Of course you have to make fun of Trump. By the way, I’m sure Megyn Kelly can’t stand me, but I don’t care.”
She explained how the whole thing went down:
“The guys went into the kitchen and started making fake ketchup,” she explained. “The whole thing took minutes. Okay, well let’s make this obvious that I’m making an absurdist artsy theme. We just took these pictures. I didn’t do it for any money. Just do it for something to talk about. It happened in minutes.”
She cried some more. But as soon as she’d melt down, she’d make a joke.
Like this beauty: “I go town to town with my dick jokes and try to make people laugh. I didn’t grab anyone’s you know what,” she said referring to Trump’s infamous Access Hollywood tape in which he told ex-NBCer Billy Bush he can have his way with women.
In other words, he can “grab ’em by the pussy.”