We’re right around the corner from a new installment in the “Star Wars” saga, and it’s a great time to remember that nobody is worse than the vocal critics of the series.
First off, a new trailer for “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” dropped last night, and it’s awesome.
The new movie is hitting theaters December 15, and I’ll be at a theater as quickly as I can. You know who won’t be there? The overly vocal loser who has to let everybody know he hates “Star Wars.”
We all know a guy like this. The “Star Wars” critic is a familiar person in pretty much all of our lives. It’s almost always a guy who peaked a couple decades too early, is still dreaming about his girlfriend from high school who left him and about how his football coach never saw his true potential. I’m sure you’ve already got a face in your mind right now. This guy is not a stranger to anybody reading this.
His hatred from “Star Wars” comes from a weird place. He’s of course never seen the movies, but feels like he’s somehow qualified to tell the rest of us just how stupid Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader are. And don’t worry because he’ll make sure to mention during his anti-“Star Wars” hysteria to mention how he was too busy to watch the movies growing up. He was busying getting ready to win a state championship in football. A championship of course that never materialized. Sad!
He’s also the guy who tells you that hot women are more interested in his story of almost grasping legendary status as a sports star or some other ridiculous garbage like that. To quote President Trump, “Wrong!”
You’re not living life until you’ve met a woman who wants to play out the Princess Leia slave fantasy. Naturally, I know nothing about this, but I’ve heard it’s pretty cool.
Don’t come at me with any garbage about this saga. It’s incredible. It’s Cowboys and Indians in space, but with laser swords that chop arms off instead of revolvers. A man cut off his own son’s hand. That’s the definition of cold-blooded. There is a floating space station capable of blowing up entire planets. I don’t want to be your friend if you don’t find that awesome.
And we obviously can’t mention the fact Natalie Portman was in three of these movies, and she’s smoke show central.
I will take on anybody, anywhere and at anytime when it comes to “Star Wars.” Don’t even think about starting a war because I guarantee I will Ewok your butt like it’s Episode VI.