Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their third baby via surrogate any day now, according to a source close to the family.
Oddly enough, neither a gender nor a name has been revealed for the baby yet. It has me concerned, as the couple came up with some zingers for their other two kids. The world melted down over “North West” in 2013 and people almost rioted in the streets after they named their son Saint two years ago.
So if Kim and Kanye are still shopping around for baby names, look no further than these woke suggestions.
-Poison Ivy West: Because Kim and Beyonce have an alleged rivalry and Beyonce’s kid is already named Blue Ivy. Can also double as an ode to Kim’s 2011 Halloween costume.
— Style 360 (@TheStyle360) October 12, 2017
-Little Rocket (Wo)Man West: This could be fun since you’d never really know which Kim everyone is referring to.
-Buddy Bear West: Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver actually named his son this in 2017 so it’s really not beyond the pale to suggest.
-Lordy I Hope There Are Tapes West: Because the innuendo would just be too tempting for Kim to avoid.
-Hillary Klinton 2020 West: Kim’s a big Hillary supporter. Why not commit to the role and cash in on the royalties now.
— Cosmo Australia (@Cosmoaustralia) January 19, 2016
-Westworld West: Because everybody loves the show and Kim and Kanye have a thing for directions, per their first child.
-Fire And Fury West: Because it sounds like a Kanye concert tour and there’s too much buzz around the book for a Kardashian to not get involved.
-Kurse West: I’m no konspiracy theorist but the Kardashian curse is almost definitely real so they might as well own it.
– ———- West: Literally no name. Just a concept. Maybe whistle at it to get its attention. Plus at this rate, pretty much any name could be deemed offensive so this is really the only way to avoid kontroversy.
PS: all names are intended to be gender neutral because it’s 2018.
PPS: this doesn’t in any way insinuate that this baby has to define its gender, because again, it’s 2018 and that would probably drum up a lot of attention so consider this baby already gender non-binary.
PPPS: if said baby does not in fact identify as male or female, you heard it here first. Please credit this article whenever possible.