World

If You’re Going To Allegedly Poach Lions — Expect To Be Eaten

Over the weekend in South Africa, a man alleged to be a poacher was brutally eaten by a pack of lions.

Law enforcement officials are now trying to determine whether the man was definitely a poacher, which I’d imagine would be pretty difficult to do since he’s currently in the belly of a lion.

Police Lieutenant-Colonel Moatshe Ngoepe told the Evening Standard, “The process of identifying this body has already commenced and it might be made easier as his head was amongst the remains found at the scene.”

Police located the man’s remains and a hunting rifle near Kruger National Park in South Africa, which is one of the most expansive nature reserves on the entire continent. According to the Standard, poachers most hunt lions for monetary reasons. Each lion’s tooth can be worth over $500 and a lion skeleton can be worth close to $10,000.

Reasoning aside, if this guy was a poacher, he’s terrible at his job. What kind of poacher goes into a massive nature reserve alone, with only one gun? I don’t care if you’re the best hunter in the world, you don’t go hunting on a remote African savannah underarmed. It’s just dumb.

Not to mention, these are lions we’re dealing with. Generally speaking, it’s illegal to hunt them because they’re an endangered species and highly dangerous animals. This isn’t your grandfather’s Thanksgiving deer hunt in Kentucky. These are lions on the African plains and, given the chance, they will kill you 10 times out of 10.

One more thing. Not a lot of people know this, but this is Africa. A largely unregulated continent where few laws are actually carried out. If you’re an illegal poacher, lions are the last thing you should be worried about. Because lots of nature reserves in Africa actually have policies that make it 100 percent legal to poach poachers. That’s some “Most Dangerous Game” stuff.

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