It’s Going To Be A Stormy Summer
Publicity prostitute Stormy Daniels and her Democrat operative handlers made a financial calculation. Could she make more money than the $130,000 she agreed upon, and do more damage to Trump, by violating her non-disclosure contract and speaking?
In another historic first, Trump becomes the only man to ever pay a porn star to keep her mouth shut.
Anderson Cooper did a surprisingly good and fair job of interviewing Stormy on “60 Minutes” this past Sunday. Daniels’ lawyer, a Democrat hitman for the likes of Rahm “Dead Fish” Emanuel and others, was creepy. He reminded me of a lookout for a Staten Island massage parlor. His legal theory of advising her to break her contract was that Trump did not put his name on it. That makes no sense; Trump puts his name on everything.
To be fair to Stormy, she says she wanted to “set the record straight,” a record that — by a legal contract — was already not public. So that also makes little sense. But small details matter. It was first reported that she was a hooker, but the public record was later corrected by her family when they insisted she was a “porn star.” It may not mean much to you, but the distinction is important to her family and we need to respect it.
I am not here to say Trump did not have the affair or to defend him like some right-wing hyper-partisans. He did it, or some variation of it. Stormy passed a polygraph test, and they are 99.3% accurate. That’s a fact. Only unfeeling, unrepentant, disillusioned liars like California Democratic Rep. “Shifty” Adam Schiff could pass such a test by being in the top 0.7 of one percent of congenital liars.
But the real story is that few folks care. Trump has long been known as a philanderer, just like Bill Clinton. He’s a vain New York billionaire who’s a regular on “The Howard Stern Show.” What troubled me was that Stormy said he did not use protection. Based on Trump’s tariff policies, he’s very protectionist. It makes him seem hypocritical.
One key thing that Trump had in his sexual affairs, and Clinton did not, was consent.
Realize that then, and for most his New York life, Trump was a Democrat. He is a perfectly prototypical New York politician in the mold of hooker enthusiast Eliot Spitzer and sex scandal specialists Rudi Giuliani and Gov. David Paterson. The only New York politician not involved in any sex scandal right now is Hillary Clinton. That makes her the third most powerful woman in politics, right behind the “D.C. Madam” and Stormy Daniels.
The only way out for Trump is to revert to being a Democrat or become a Muslim. In both cases, the woman in the affair, Stormy Daniels, would get publicly stoned by fellow followers.
In either case, the continuous Trump three-ring circus is eligible for a Kennedy Award next year. But this sleeping with Trump for publicity will only burnish Stormy’s porn reputation, and she can now add “clown fetish” to her resume’.
It makes you kind of feel for the Trump boys, Eric and Donald Jr; there is nothing like memories of your dad sending you off to boarding school at age twelve and shaking your hand goodbye with stripper glitter still on his face.
Charlie Sheen, the drunken womanizer who starred in the sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” (which, if I am not mistaken, was also the name of an adult film Stormy Daniels starred in), once showed political ambitions. Nine years ago, I said that I would vote for Charlie Sheen and ignore his personal peccadilloes if he’d reduce the size of government and run it efficiently. In short, like most people, I am not a “values voter.” We all ultimately vote our pocketbooks.
In the only recorded good deal by a lawyer in history, Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, gave Stormy $130,000 out of his own pocket eleven days before the election. Like most of us, he just likes giving more than $100k to porn stars for no reason. I hope he paid her in crumpled $5 bills. Such loyalty in the Trump Organization can only mean one thing, my friends: We are looking at Michael Cohen as our next Attorney General.
Maybe Trump, a self-professed “very religious man” on the campaign trail, can rely on his favorite Bible verse (when asked, “Corinthians Two”) to get him through this. As we know, Corinthians Two was a second Tweet from the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians.
The Bible tells us that man was made in just one day, and it shows.
A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron is a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.