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Jezebel Writer Claims Disney Princesses Had Abortions. Here Are Five Things They May Have Done Instead

(Matt Stroshane, photographer)

Jena Greene Reporter
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Earlier this week, the Planned Parenthood Keystone Twitter account set the world on fire by suggesting America needs a wider representation of Disney princesses.

Some of the suggestions were a Disney princess who’s had an abortion and a Disney princess who’s transgender. The tweet was promptly deleted after it received a considerable amount of backlash, but the sentiment stood.

So on Wednesday night, Jezebel took it to the next level. Joanna Rothkopf hatched the genius article titled, “Statistically, at Least 2 Disney Princesses Have Had Abortions.”

Rothkopf states that 23.7 percent of women in the US will have had an abortion by 45 years old. So, she extrapolated the data and applied it to animated princesses. She says, in part:

There are 11 “official” Disney princesses: Belle, Rapunzel, Ariel, Tiana, Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Merida, Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Mulan. That means statistically around two and a half of these strong women have gotten abortions and aren’t telling you about it because of a national culture of shame and misogyny!!!

So if we’re on the topic of statical probabilities as it relates to animated figments of Disney’s imagination, here are a few other things Disney princesses probably have done:

-Six of them would support a constructing a wall along our southern border.

-About half of them would have voted for Donald Trump.

-Five of them would own at least one firearm.

-Half of them would be pro-life and believe abortion is morally wrong.

-Between three and four of them may have stayed at home to raise children.

It’s important to note that these statistics don’t account for Hillary Clinton’s theory that women only vote the way their husbands tell them to, but when you extrapolate the data the way Jezebel does, Disney princesses aren’t even close to being feminist demagogues.

Maybe Jezebel should consider leaving the innocent animation to Disney and go back to covering Lena Dunham’s sex life.

Follow Jena on Twitter

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