Comedian Ellen DeGeneres tried to set up two rich, hot, successful people on her show this week and — not to sound selfish here — but it’s forcing me to reevaluate my life.
It happened when she had US Open winner Naomi Osaka on her show, where she asked the tennis superstar who her celebrity crush was. (RELATED: Naomi Osaka Speaks Out For The First Time Since Serena Williams’ Meltdown)
“I don’t know his name, but he was in Black Panther, but he was the villain,” Osaka answers, slightly embarrassed.
Ellen confirms that man is Michael B. Jordan and offered to text him for her.
Osaka declined and Ellen relented until Osaka’s birthday on Tuesday, when the talk show host tweeted a picture of Michael B. Jordan at the tennis pro.
Happy birthday, @Naomi_Osaka_. I got you a present. @michaelb4jordan pic.twitter.com/RVlX6Tmt5h
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) October 16, 2018
Osaka replied, “Pls block me.”
Except Michael B. Jordan saw the tweet and took the bait.
Posting a “better and more recent,” photo of himself, Jordan offered to take Osaka to the “Creed 2 premiere as a bday present.”
This one is better and more recent. LOL Happy Belated Bday Naomi. But seriously I want to invite you to the Creed 2 premiere as a bday present pic.twitter.com/TS8vmSsRdM
— Michael B. Jordan (@michaelb4jordan) October 17, 2018
Osaka’s probably going to accept, and these two are probably going to live happily ever after because that’s what happens in Hollywood.
But seriously, Ellen? There’s over 7 billion people in this world and you chose two of the most SUCCESSFUL ones to set up? Not to sound like a commie here but share the wealth! Come on. Michael B. Jordan can get any woman he wants. He doesn’t need your help hooking him up with the ladies. Same with Naomi Osaka. She just beat Serena Williams to win the US Open. I doubt she’s struggling in the dude department either.
This was a safe bet for Ellen. If she really wants to flex her match-making skills, she’d set up a totally normal, regular poor person like myself with, say, Roger Federer? Christian Bale? I’d even settle for someone like Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg or Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. I’m not asking for a miracle here. Just asking Ellen to prove just how talented she really is with this stuff.