Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a dude called Alexander Tominsky who ate 40 rotisserie chickens in 40 consecutive days, and he’s my motherfucking hero.
Crowds gathered at “that abandoned pier near Walmart” at midday on Sunday in Philadelphia to watch Tominsky demolish the chicken, according to BillyPenn. Hundreds were present to view this moment in history, and it was a beautiful thing to behold.
Tominsky, who goes by the name “Smooth Recess” on Twitter, did it. He really did it! He ate his 40th rotisserie chicken.
“He’s an icon, a legend, a true Millennial master of purpose, transcending spirituality and science, breaking through all political dogmas,” I would imagine someone who witnessed Tominsky’s greatness could have possibly said.
40 consecutive days eating an entire rotisserie chicken #chicken pic.twitter.com/a4AoNWDLTa
— smooth recess (@AlexiconTom) November 6, 2022
Scientifically speaking, rotisserie chickens bring out the weirdest character traits in almost all people. For me personally, having just undergone dental surgery, I spent three days last week ripping apart and crushing an entire Costco carcass to shreds in order to turn it into an intense bone broth, something my ancestors would do to all birds as far back as the cave.
The power one feels when ripping the succulent breast from bone is almost enough to make some understand homicidal maniacs, but luckily I’m not one of those. I don’t think Tominsky is either, but don’t quote me on that. (RELATED: Wait, Who TF Does This Guy Think He Is?)
Seriously though, all satire aside, I do absolutely love Tominsky. There’s a viral trend of young people wanting fame and celebrity for their opinions, seeking clicks and likes from strangers online, exploiting them for financial gain instead of just being super fucking cool and funny and chill and, like, eating chickens and stuff.
I can’t wait to see what Tominsky does next, because he’s way more intelligent and creative than the people running anything in corporate media right now.