Opinion

ROOKE: NYTimes Tried To Blame Men For One Woman’s Sad Life. But It Doesn’t Add Up

OPINION
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Mary Rooke Commentary and Analysis Writer
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There is a stark difference between the way the Left and Right talk about love, marriage and children. While neither side is going to agree the other is correct, progressives are so blinded by their hatred for the right they seem incapable of understanding who we are talking to when we preach about reclaiming femininity and motherly virtues.

This was the issue with the guest essay published in The New York Times’ opinion section in November, “Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.” It was a predictable read. The author, Anna Louie Sussman, gave the typical progressive argument that male behavior is responsible for the rise in singleness while targeting the Right’s messaging to young women about marriage as joyless.

The essay focused on single mother Sarah Camino, claiming she “checks all the boxes of the demographic that has been targeted for advice in recent months by an array of columnists and authors who have argued for the promotion and prioritizing of marriage.”

But what Sussman fails miserably to understand is although Camino’s story deserves sympathy, she is not the demographic the Right is trying to reach with their argument. A 37-year-old beautician without a college degree is not the target audience conservatives are focused on when debating against the Girlboss lifestyle. Conservatives want to stop the next generation of women from becoming corporate robots devoid of fulfillment — this means young women looking at college or just embarking on their working careers. (ROOKE: ‘Conservative Woman’s Guide To College’ Offers Up The Right’s Answer To Destructive Feminism)

While Camino is a tragic reminder of what happens when you live life as if there aren’t consequences for your actions, Conservatives are hoping to reach women trading motherhood for a self-absorbed existence.

Sussman claimed Conservatives will push marriage on women “sometimes for the sake of overall happiness but more often for the sake of children’s well-being.” This is another example of how the Left can’t fathom why people would view protecting vulnerable children as an admirable endeavor, especially in the event it causes the parents personal suffering. Progressives find it shocking the Right would push for marriages to stay together because our modern world enables selfish behavior that hurts children for the sake of saving the adults’ pain.

She sees this as the Right “harping on people to marry from high up in the ivory tower,” claiming the Conservative argument for marriage “fails to engage with the reality on the ground that heterosexual women from many walks of life confront: the state of men today.” (ROOKE: There’s A Good Reason Trad Wives Can’t Stop Telling You About Their Sex Lives)

Camino had apparently been dating a man for over two years before he cut and ran. During that time, are we to believe there were no signs he lacked integrity? The entire time she was consensually engaging in sexual activities with her boyfriend, she never thought to herself: “What happens if I get pregnant? How will he respond? Would he be a good father?”

The Right sees just as clearly as the Left that Camino’s child deserves to have both parents in the home, providing love and protection. Her deadbeat boyfriend is a loser for leaving her and their child. He’s the worst kind of man. The problem begins when Sussman makes the gigantic leap that Camino’s experience is indicative of the behavior of all men.

Her evidence came from a study done by Daniel Cox, a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, that “found that nearly half of college-educated women said they were single because they had trouble finding someone who meets their expectations, versus one-third of men.” She adds, “It seems that by the time men begin dating, they are relatively ‘limited in their ability and willingness to be fully emotionally present and available,'” as the pinnacle of proof that men are to blame for why women aren’t married.

The conclusion ignores important findings in the same study: “Thirty-six percent of single adults say that having more important priorities is a major reason they are not currently dating. Single women are much more likely than single men to say this is a major reason they are not dating (45 percent vs. 29 percent, respectively).”

The reality is there are more men than women looking for relationships, and Sussman inadvertently showcases why Progressive women stay single. Conservatives are asked to take the experiences of single women seriously. Still, when Sussman’s example, Camino, is asked what kind of man she is looking for, she timidly proclaims her dream is to find a “feminist.”

Good men and Feminism are not compatible.

The Left will scoff at the idea men hate Feminism, but they do. The emasculation that comes with denying their inherent goodness all the time in order to uphold the female empowerment storyline is making them recoil away from society. They want to protect and lead but are taught from childhood their instincts are toxic.

Men don’t want to marry a single mother who doesn’t view masculinity with respect. He is expected to love and care for her and her child with his life for the rest of his days. What does he get in return? When Camino claims to want a male feminist, good men will understand that as a signal to stay away from her.