Jim Treacher
Contributor

Wendy Davis: No, Seriously, Greg Abbott Wants To Ban His Own Marriage

Don't let us interrupt, Wendy. Keep talking.

Obama To Dem Senate Candidates: You’re Stuck With Me

10:39 AM 10/21/2014

No matter how far the Democrats flee from the failed presidency of the dismally unpopular Barack Obama, they can't escape him. He won't allow it. His ego won't let him accept what's happening, and his attempts to reassert his dominance are only making things worse.

Wendy Davis Wants To Know If Greg Abbott, Whose Wife Is Mexican-American, Supports A Ban On Interracial Marriage

2:18 PM 10/20/2014

The Wendy Davis campaign is doing a great job convincing Texans to get out and vote.

Monica Lewinsky Just Joined Twitter

11:57 AM 10/20/2014

Now that Bill Clinton has rebranded himself, magically transforming from a predator of women to an advocate for them, it's time for his most (in)famous old flame to step back into the public eye.

Another White Democrat Senatorial Candidate Distances Herself From Obama

10:06 AM 10/20/2014

First, Alison Grimes turned her back on America's first black president. Then it was Michelle Nunn. And now, to complete the triumvirate of Democratic Party racism: West Virginia senatorial candidate Natalie Tennant.

Obama: My Credit Card Was Rejected For Fraud

2:18 PM 10/17/2014

What happens when King Barry tries to spend his own money? Nobody knows what to do.

U.S. Deputy Attorney General James Cole (R) calls on a reporter as U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara (L) looks on after announcing a settlement with Anadarko Petroleum Corp at the Justice Department in Washington April 3, 2014. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Eric Holder’s Top Deputy Resigns, But Not Because Of Fast And Furious, Honest

12:21 PM 10/17/2014

Remember Fast & Furious? Not the crappy movie series, but the crappy ATF scheme to hand out guns like party favors to Mexican drug gangs. Eric Holder definitely didn't resign over it, and neither did his top guy.

NIH To America: You Can Either Have Your Ebola Vaccine Or You Can Have Your Origami Condoms

10:45 AM 10/17/2014

As we all know, the evil Republicans are giving everybody Ebola by cutting funding to efficient, responsible government agencies such as the National Institutes of Health. Why, the NIH is so underfunded, they can only spare a couple of million for developing better dong-wrappers.

Wendy Davis Still Isn’t Sure You Know Greg Abbott Is In A Wheelchair

2:39 PM 10/16/2014

Did you know Greg Abbott is in a wheelchair? Because Greg Abbott is in a wheelchair. In case you didn't know Greg Abbott is in a wheelchair, here's a Wendy Davis campaign ad to remind you that Greg Abbott is in a wheelchair.

Obama: I Kissed Some Ebola Nurses

11:14 AM 10/16/2014

Barack Obama is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful president I've ever known in my life.

Did GA Democratic Senatorial Candidate Michelle Nunn Vote For Obama?

10:24 AM 10/16/2014

If so, is there a particular reason she doesn't want to tell anybody?

The Democrats’ Appeal Is Becoming More Selective

10:24 AM 10/15/2014

I'm not much for polls, because I don't need anybody's approval to know what I see. But I'm a big fan of anything that makes Democrats feel bad!

Michelle Obama: Let Them Eat… Turnips?

9:24 AM 10/15/2014

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Al Sharpton Repeats Whatever A Conservative Said In the Form Of A Question?

7:26 AM 10/15/2014

Al Sharpton Repeats Whatever a Conservative Said In the Form of a Question.

Hillary Clinton: 'What difference does it make?' (Reuters)

Hillary Clinton Seems Like A Really Genuine Person

4:30 PM 10/14/2014

Those right-wing jerks over at the Washington Free Bacon are pretending to understand humor again. Yeah, right!

Andrea Mitchell Is Skeptical That Greg Abbott Is Actually Disabled

3:27 PM 10/14/2014

Earlier today, Alex Griswold told you about Wendy Davis doubling down on her campaign-imploding "Look at the cripple" ad. Or tripling down, or quadrupling down, or however many times it's been at this point. She told Andrea Mitchell that the ad was "fair." Oh, and Abbott is "working to kick that ladder down." Well said, Wendy.

The White House, the Washington Monument and the Jefferson Memorial are seen from atop the roof of the historic Hay Adams hotel in Washington, May 4, 2014. REUTERS/Jim Bourg

It’s Official: DC Is The Most Expensive Place To Live In America

11:46 AM 10/14/2014

I moved away from Mordor Washington, DC earlier this year, and it feels good to be back in America. The only thing I hated worse than DC drivers was DC rent.

A worker in a hazardous material suit removes the contents of the apartment unit where a man diagnosed with the Ebola virus was staying in Dallas, Texas, October 6, 2014. REUTERS/Jim Young

CDC: Hey, Maybe Our Whole Ebola Strategy Kind Of Sucks?

10:04 AM 10/14/2014

Reminder: Four weeks ago today, we received the following reassurances from the smartest guy in whichever room he's in.

NBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman Violates Ebola Quarantine To Make Takeout Run

2:35 PM 10/13/2014

It's all about priorities, people. Sure, a quarantine means cutting off all contact with the outside world. But what if you just don't feel like it anymore? What if you're on TV? What if you've really got the munchies?