The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

Courtesy Of My Time Machine: Tonight’s Presidential Address, In Its Entirety

Jim Treacher
Contributor

I’m Taking a Treachbatical, Or a Sabbtreachical, Or Whatever

11:00 AM 08/28/2014

Hello. Jim Treacher, AKA Sean Medlock here. How are you today? That's nice. That's just fine.

Reverend Al Sharpton attends a news conference held to address local media reports regarding his relationship with the FBI during the 1980s in New York April 8, 2014. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

Quoting Al Sharpton Is Racist, Because He’s Black And He Represents All Black People On Earth

2:21 PM 08/27/2014

And that's all there is to it. If you're not outraged by this latest example of the white man's mockery -- composed entirely of things Sharpton has said and done in public -- you're a damn racist.

Giant Panda mother Bai Yun snacks on bamboo at the San Diego Zoo in San Diego, California in this January 10, 2013 file photo. REUTERS/Mike Blake/Files

Panda Fakes Pregnancy, Because Pandas Are Evil Liars

12:21 PM 08/27/2014

I do not like pandas. Every day, these cockroaches with fur give me more evidence that I'm right.

My Knee Deal Is Finally Over, I Hope

2:31 AM 08/27/2014

Yesterday, I finally received my settlement from the U.S. State Department for crippling me with one of their heavily armored security vehicles as I crossed a DC street legally back in Feb. 2010. It has put me in a reflective mood, and here’s some of the stuff I babbled about it.

You Can Still Eat Bacon In Winooski, Vermont For Now; You Just Can’t Talk About It

2:39 PM 08/26/2014

Look out, Kevin Bacon. You're next.

Theft Of Life-Size Obama Statue Sends Wilkes-Barre Woman To Hospital

12:28 PM 08/26/2014

We've all been there: We scrimp and save until we can afford an Obama statue to put on the front porch. It becomes a beloved part of our lives. It's a comforting reminder of... whatever it's supposed to remind us about.

A masked Islamic State militant holding a knife speaks next to man purported to be U.S. journalist James Foley at an unknown location in this still file image from an undated video posted on a social media website.  REUTERS/Social Media Website via REUTERS TV/Files

#NotAllBritishMuslims Beheaded James Foley

11:07 AM 08/26/2014

In the unlikely event that you were going to blame all British Muslims for the beheading of James Foley in front of the whole world, you really shouldn't. This was a single British Muslim, acting entirely on his own, and he has nothing to do with any other Muslims from Britain or anywhere else.

Staged ‘Viral’ Video Depicts Suburban Dad Running Over Grown-@$$ Son’s Videogames With Riding Mower, But It’s Still Pretty Funny

9:41 AM 08/26/2014

This is the fakest thing that's ever been faked in the history of Internet fakery, but if they want it to go viral, I'm willing to do my part.

With All The Other Problems In The World, The Internet Is Still Keeping Taylor Swift Honest

5:08 PM 08/25/2014

Taylor Swift seems like a pleasant enough young lady, although I'm sure I could name more of her ex-boyfriends than the titles of her songs.

If You’re A Native American Who Supports The Washington Redskins, Does That Make You An Uncle Tom-Tom?

2:30 PM 08/25/2014

It's probably racist to ask that, so never mind. Just watch these Native American race-traitors as they pass up a prime opportunity to call white people racists:

We Must Have A #DayOfRage To Protest The Failure Of Yesterday’s #DayOfRage

3:04 PM 08/22/2014

What good is a Day of Rage without any rage? Then it's just a day. Days are boring!

The Universe Is Trying To Tell You Something, Ferguson Race-Baiters

10:54 AM 08/22/2014

Or God, or Allah, or Vishnu, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or whatever you want to call it. Your delusional hysteria has not gone unnoticed, and this message is for you:

Hey, Everybody, I’m A ‘Meta-Racist’

9:34 AM 08/22/2014

So proclaims noted typist and honorary black man Tommy Christopher, who really didn't like my post about Don Lemon yesterday.

Caption This: Obama Shows His Resolve Against Terrorism

4:35 PM 08/21/2014

appalled

Ladies And Gentlemen: The Future Of Journalism

12:42 PM 08/21/2014

The following bit of socially conscious educational material comes to us courtesy of James H. Miller of Louisville, KY, who describes himself thusly:

An Automatic Weapon Is Whatever CNN’s Don Lemon Says It Is

11:31 AM 08/21/2014

WARNING: The following post is racist, because it mocks a black person for being wrong and refusing to admit it.

KKK Creative Commons/Image Editor

Racially Motivated Crimes Up In DC Last Year, Even Though Most Victims Were White

10:30 AM 08/21/2014

Does it even count as a "hate crime" if the victim is white? I didn't think it was racist to hate white people. That's just a given.

Spike Lee On Ferguson, MO: ‘I Just Hope That Things Will Really Blow Up’

2:36 PM 08/20/2014

The last time America's race-baiters and their helpful idiots worked themselves into a frenzy over someone shooting a violent criminal in self-defense, Spike Lee gave out the home address of an elderly couple who had nothing to do with it. If you think he's learned anything from that experience, you don't know much about Spike Lee.