Jim Treacher

University Of Chicago Shut Down Over Threat: ‘Rid The World Of White Devils’

University of Chicago Police patrols the campus in Chicago, Illinois, United States, November 30 , 2015.  REUTERS/Jim Young

While I was gone last week,* apparently the whole world went back to blaming entire swaths of people for the actions of a lunatic. When Islamic terrorists kill people, the real victims are Muslims. But then the violence is committed by a guy who may or may not be a right-winger -- but he probably is, so let's just go with that -- it's entirely different.

Quentin Tarantino says some cops are murderers, but not all. (Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Has Quentin Tarantino Ever Really Been In Jail?

12:59 PM 11/30/2015

What does Quentin Tarantino look like? Describe what he looks like. Does he look like a jailbird? (Please stop saying "What?" It's very annoying.)

Global Warming Enthusiasts Destroy Paris Memorial To ISIS Victims

9:43 AM 11/30/2015

As we all know, climate change is the greatest threat to humanity since... whatever the previous greatest threat to humanity was. The hole in the ozone layer, I think. Remember that? Remember all the people who died because of the hole in the ozone layer?

I Give Thanks To You, Dear Reader

2:52 PM 11/20/2015

I'll be away all next week for some much-needed rest and/or relaxation, so I wanted to post a quick note of thanks to you. Yes, you.

Not Only Are #NotAllMuslims Terrorists, But According To Hillary, NONE Of Them Are

12:30 PM 11/20/2015

I note with no small sense of relief that Hillary Clinton plans to bring the same skills, judgment, and quiet competence to the White House that she exhibited as Secretary of State.

Jared Fogle is led from federal court in Indianapolis, Aug. 19, 2015. (REUTERS/Susan Guyett)

Jared Fogle’s Defense At Sentencing: Hey, At Least He Doesn’t MAKE Kiddie Porn

12:55 PM 11/19/2015

The Indianapolis Star is liveblogging Jared Fogle's sentencing hearing for having sex with minors and distributing child pornography. I wish that wasn't a sentence that made sense in the English language, but here we are.

Is Hillary Clinton Trying To Silence These Stand-Up Comedians?

10:23 AM 11/19/2015

As you read the following, try to open up your mind and consider the idea of Hillary Clinton and her campaign behaving like petty, paranoid, thin-skinned autocrats. Just for the purposes of hypothesis, mind you. Is such a thing possible?

Ted Cruz To President Obama On Syrian Crisis: ‘Insult Me To My Face’

1:56 PM 11/18/2015

The following soundbite is being interpreted -- by our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters -- as Ted Cruz trying to be some sort of tough guy. Like he's cutting a wrestling promo or something. As opposed to Obama trying to be a tough guy by standing on foreign soil and belittling his domestic political opponents. But it's simply Cruz laying out the facts and making an entirely reasonable request.

#NotAllMuslims At Turkish Soccer Match Boo, Chant “Allahu Akbar” During Moment Of Silence For Paris

9:37 AM 11/18/2015

In response to the massive terrorist attack in Paris last week, in which #NotAllMuslims murdered 129 people at the suggestion of Allah, U.S. President Barack Hussein Obama said the following:

Zebras Invade Philly

2:58 PM 11/16/2015

No, that's not a slur.

French soldiers patrol near the Eiffel Tower as part of the highest level of

Climate Change Kills Dozens In Paris

10:06 AM 11/16/2015

After the horrible events in Paris, all I feel is despair. I've been warning people about the dangers of climate change for years -- decades -- yet no one will listen. The evidence is staring you people right in the face, yet you won't allow yourselves to see it.

Google Is Bad For Traffic

12:50 PM 11/13/2015

No, no, not on the Internet. At the intersection.

A Bunch Of My Tweets About How College Students Are Garbage

11:08 AM 11/13/2015

Nobody's gravestone is ever going to say "Wish I Woulda Spent More Time Tweetin'." But as long as I'm a hopeless Twitter addict, and I've already used it to say what I want to say about the lunacy sweeping college campuses this week, I may as well collect it all here. Plus, I will never get tired of the phrase "poop swastika."

#NotAllMuslims Arrested For Using Tumblr To Target U.S. Military Personnel For Assassination

9:46 PM 11/12/2015

Another day, another coincidence.

Caption This: The Dreaded… POOP SWASTIKA

5:05 PM 11/12/2015


BTW, The FBI Is Expanding Its Criminal Probe Of Hillary Clinton

2:05 PM 11/12/2015

Yawn! But you clicked on this, so you may as well read it.

SHOCK VIDEO: Mizzou’s Millionaire Hunger-Striker Gets Hit By Tim Wolfe’s Car

10:13 AM 11/12/2015

The University of Missouri doesn't have Klansmen running around on campus, but it does have at least one poop swastika that we know about so far. Also, some guy in a pickup truck may or may not have yelled rude comments at somebody. Clearly, university president Tim Wolfe's resignation was long overdue. If he's not responsible for this systemic racism, who is?

The Soup Nazi of

Who Is The Poop Nazi? [UPDATED]

3:53 PM 11/11/2015

And what does a poop swastika look like, anyway?

U.S. Army Private First Class Bradley Manning (C) departs the courthouse at Fort Meade, Maryland July 30, 2013. REUTERS/Gary Cameron

Bradley Manning Is Crying Because He Can’t Grow His Hair Long

12:16 PM 11/11/2015

Bradley Manning is a mentally ill traitor. Fortunately for him, he has plenty of peers in the mainstream media.