Jim Treacher

Milo Visits Memories Pizza

OUT: Memories Pizza is bigoted for refusing to serve gays!
IN: Memories Pizza is bigoted for serving Milo Yiannopoulos!

Islam Muslim green star and crescent (Getty Images)

Rotterdam: Man With Kalashnikov And ISIS Flag Arrested In Motiveless Terror Plot

11:04 AM 12/09/2016

The following is breaking news. Keep in mind that we don't know all the facts yet, and the facts we do know don't fit into the approved narrative.

Vice President Joe Biden looks on during a bilateral meeting between President Obama and President Petro Poroshenko of Ukraine in the Oval Office of the White House September 18, 2014 in Washington, D.C. (Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images)

Joe Biden Is Disappointed In You, America

8:30 AM 12/09/2016

If you're like me -- and let's face it, you are, in more ways than you care to admit -- you live your life by one simple precept. One thought, over and over, that helps you navigate through your day: What would Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. do?

Van Jones (YouTube/screenshot/Big Think)

Van Jones Doesn’t Get Why The Woman Who Lost To Obama Also Lost To Trump

1:12 PM 12/08/2016

I have this theory I'm working on. It's an attempt to explain why Hillary Clinton keeps losing elections. I call it the "People Just Don't Like Hillary Clinton" theory. Sure, it sounds crazy, but I think it explains a lot of what we've seen over the past 8-9 years.

A general view of the exterior of the Comet Ping Pong pizza restaurant in Washington, U.S. December 5, 2016. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Pizzagate Dude: I Got Some Bad Intel About Comet Ping Pong

8:30 AM 12/08/2016

Alright, look, I'm not gonna knock a guy for trying to do the right thing. Sometimes a man sees a problem, and he sees that nobody else is doing anything. It nags at his conscience. So he drives hundreds of miles to a Washington, DC pizza parlor he's been reading about on the Internet, and he goes inside to investigate the secret underground tunnels where the child sex slaves are being held captive by Hillary Clinton. A man's got to do what a man's got to do. And it wouldn't be a good idea to embark upon such a dangerous mission without bringing in a gun (or three) to protect himself, right? I mean, that would be crazy.

Activist holds a sign at a rally next to the White House in Washington calling for the closure of the U.S. run Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba, May 23, 2014. REUTERS/Larry Downing

Obama Has Failed: Gitmo Will Remain Open

3:20 PM 12/07/2016

It was one of Obama's first actions as president: On Jan. 22, 2009, his seat barely warm, he signed an executive order to close down Guantanamo Bay "no later than one year from now."

Remember Pearl Harbor

12:51 PM 12/07/2016

Like the man said:

Hippie Walks Across America Barefoot To Protest Globalchange Climatewarming

9:00 AM 12/07/2016

Move over, Ed Begley! When it comes to practicing what you preach about globalclimate warmingchange, nobody on Gaia's green earth is doing more than a fellow from Rhode Island named Mark Baumer.

Kangaroo (Jylan Wynne/ REUTERS)

If Punching Kangaroos Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right

7:07 PM 12/06/2016

Animals are dumb. I hate all of them except dogs. (And I could be swayed on that one, if Obama is willing to share some good recipes.) Humans run this planet, and animals get to live here only because we allow it. I have no problem with anybody showing a filthy lion or gorilla or panda who's boss. If you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Well, not literally. I don't like you either, bulls.

Fake News About Pizza Places Suddenly Considered Bad

12:59 PM 12/06/2016

As I read through all the online hand-wringing about Sunday's incident at Comet Ping Pong -- some of which I've indulged in myself -- I'm reminded of another pizza joint that was the target of a huge smear campaign.

Actor and comedian Bill Cosby arrives for the second day of hearings at the Montgomery County Courthouse in Norristown, Pennsylvania February 3, 2016. REUTERS/Ed Hille/Pool

Bill Cosby Still In Big Trouble

9:00 AM 12/06/2016

If you're looking for reasons why 2017 will be less depressing than this year has been... keep looking.

Taiwanese Animators Love Trump’s Call To Tsai Ing-wen

6:00 PM 12/05/2016

I don't know what the Trump presidency is going to be like, and neither does anybody else. Least of all him. But so far, it seems like every time he does something I don't like, he turns right around and does something I like. Or vice versa.

Al Gore points into your soul. AP Images.

Meeting With Al Gore About Climate Change Proves Trump’s Brilliance, And Here’s Why

2:33 PM 12/05/2016

Earlier today, Al Gore went to Trump Tower to meet with Ivanka about global warming climate change. As Gore left the meeting, he said, "The bulk of the time was with President-elect Donald Trump." This is just further evidence of Trump's strategic genius, and it proves why his loyal followers have been right about him all along. Don't believe me? Then listen up, because here's why:

Leave Comet Ping Pong Alone

9:00 AM 12/05/2016

People believe a lot of weird conspiracy theories: The moon landing was fake. Bush did 9/11. Obama was telling the truth when he claimed he was born in Kenya. J.J. Abrams knew all along how they were going to end Lost. There's all sorts of bizarre nonsense out there. For whatever reason, people choose to comfort themselves with this stuff rather than face reality.

Abdul Razak Artan, a third-year student in logistics management, sits on the Oval in an August 2016 photo provided by The Lantern, student newspaper of Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, U.S. on November 28, 2016. Courtesy of Kevin Stankiewicz for The Lantern/Handout via REUTERS

OSU Students: Was Artan Really A TERRORIST, Though?

1:47 PM 12/02/2016

Is it possible to fight an enemy you can't even bring yourself to name?

By Steve from washington, dc, usa (American Beaver) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Beaver Breaks Into Dollar Store, Trashes Artificial Christmas Trees

9:00 AM 12/02/2016

There are three sacrosanct facts upon which every reasonable person can agree: 1) Animals are dumb, 2) Artificial Christmas trees are superior in every way to the "real" thing, and 3) Beavers need wood.

Chelsea handler crying

Chelsea Handler Doesn’t Know When She’s Beaten, Or Pretty Much Anything Else

7:15 PM 12/01/2016

Remember when refusing to accept the results of an election was a bad thing?

Abdul Razak Artan, a third-year student in logistics management, sits on the Oval in an August 2016 photo provided by The Lantern, student newspaper of Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, U.S. on November 28, 2016. Courtesy of Kevin Stankiewicz for The Lantern/Handout via REUTERS

OSU Jihadi Abdul Artan Was Taking Course On Microaggressions

11:31 AM 12/01/2016

If you've ever wondered why liberals are so protective of the utterly illiberal religion of Islam, the following news holds a clue: Both groups demand a space that's safe from anybody who doesn't believe the same things they do. Campus, caliphate, whatever.

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton makes a concession speech after being defeated by Republican president-elect Donald Trump in New York on November 9, 2016. (JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

Chaffetz: Yeah, We’re Still Investigating Hillary

9:00 AM 12/01/2016

Hillary Clinton has been dealing with her stunning electoral loss in various soothing ways: Wandering around in the woods, going to the supermarket and waiting for people to recognize her, giving awards to Katy Perry, etc. Y'know, the usual. It hurts to lose, especially when you think it's your turn because you have a vagina. But Hillary is doing about as well as can be expected.