Jim Treacher
Blogger

So Many Things Could’ve Gone Wrong With Hillary’s Burrito Order

Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin spotted at Chipotle.

Now it can be told.

Gwyneth Paltrow at Rockefeller Center on January 14, 2015 in New York City.

Gwyneth Paltrow Cares About Poor People

1:30 PM 04/17/2015

As we all know, last week Gwyneth Paltrow joined the SNAP Challenge, in which wealthy celebrities pretend to live like people on the USDA's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. These wealthy celebrities are doing this to feel better about themselves and signal to their peers that they're good people improve the lives of the poor.

College Serves Mexican Food On ‘Intergalactic Night,’ Makes Much-Needed Apology

11:23 AM 04/17/2015

TRIGGER WARNING: The following item may offend you if you're of Mexican heritage, an extraterrestrial, and/or a humorless Social Justice Warrior with absolutely nothing useful to do.

Migrants from Sub-Saharian areas stand on a landing craft of Italy's Navy ship San Giorgio after being rescued in open international waters in the Mediterranean Sea between the Italian and the Libyan coasts May 14, 2014. REUTERS/Giorgio Perottino

#NotAllMuslims Migrating To Italy From Libya Throw Christians Overboard To Their Deaths

9:48 AM 04/17/2015

We all know how scary it is to be a Muslim in the 21st Century. Everywhere they go, people give them funny looks, draw cartoons that offend them, show Clint Eastwood movies they don't like, and all sorts of other indignities. So who can blame them for lashing out against infidels who refuse to submit to Allah?

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton waves as she attends the Irish American Hall of Fame in New York, March 16, 2015. (REUTERS/Brendan McDermid)

Hillary Clinton Should Join The Guardians Of The Galaxy, Because She’s Always Talking To Plants

1:59 PM 04/16/2015

Let's say you're running for president and you want to appear to care about average, ordinary Americans. But you're also an utter phony and you know it. You're terrified that if you actually talk to any average, ordinary Americans, and there are microphones to capture it, you might humiliate yourself even more than you've done already. What to do?

Senator Marco Rubio of Florida speaks at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at National Harbor, Maryland March 14, 2013. Two senators seen as possible candidates for the 2016 presidential election will address a conservative conference where Republicans will try to regroup on Thursday after their bruising election loss last year.  REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque  (UNITED STATES - Tags: POLITICS) - RTR3EZQO

The Most Pressing Question Of The Day: Would Marco Rubio Attend A Gay Wedding?

11:54 AM 04/16/2015

Our nation stands at a crossroads. No, we have nothing to fear from Islamic terrorism or Putin's saber-rattling or rampant government spending or any of those other right-wing bugaboos. The real danger all of us face is that someone, somewhere, might not approve of a gay wedding.

Pay Your Taxes, Melissa Harris-Perry

9:55 AM 04/16/2015

What is it with MSNBC hosts and the IRS? Melissa Harris-Perry just got done calling Americans a "plague" for the way we spend our money in other countries, and now it turns out she isn't paying her fair share to her own.

Your Job Isn’t The Worst, Unless You’re A Newspaper Reporter

2:54 PM 04/15/2015

ATTN lumberjacks: It could be worse. You could be working for Pinch.

Caption This: Hillary Clinton With Some Of Her Favorite Americans…

2:10 PM 04/15/2015

white_folks

Rev. Al Sharpton attends a news conference held to address local media reports regarding his relationship with the FBI during the 1980s in New York April 8, 2014. (REUTERS/Lucas Jackson)

Al Sharpton Launches ‘Hunger’ Strike Until Loretta Lynch Is Confirmed

12:04 PM 04/15/2015

The Rev. Al Sharpton, whose head already resembles a deflated balloon collapsing into an Italian suit, apparently thinks he still needs to lose a few pounds. That's the only plausible explanation for the following.

Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reacts to a question as she discusses her new book

#Emailghazi Continues To Be Over

9:14 AM 04/15/2015

You wingnuts keep trying to make this "e-mail" thing a big deal, but it's not. Hillary Clinton is going to be the very first Queen of America, and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

Denver TSA Screeners Work Together To Fondle Hunky Dudes’ Junk

1:24 PM 04/14/2015

It's become such a cliche that you hardly even think about it anymore: "Wow, those TSA screeners must really like rubbing their hands all over other guys' packages, huh?"

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton speaks to the media after keynoting a Women's Empowerment Event at the United Nations. (Photo by Yana Paskova/Getty Images)

FLASHBACK: Top 10 Things That Are Younger Than Hillary Clinton

11:44 AM 04/14/2015

(NOTE: One year ago, long before anybody had any idea Hillary Clinton was going to run for president LOL, I posted the following. Now that Hillary is a year older and she's given up pretending she might not run, it's timelier than ever. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, I'll enjoy that.)

Ezra Klein Knows What Marco Rubio Is All About: Tostadas

9:45 AM 04/14/2015

NOTE: The Following Isn't Racist, Because Ezra Klein Works for the Democrats.

Melissa Harris-Perry: Keep The Cuban People In A Paradise Of Perfect, Unblemished Poverty

3:39 PM 04/13/2015

I'm not as big a fan of Obama's Cuba policy as he is, but then, I'm not as big a fan of communist dictatorships as he is. If it means that the lives of Cubans could be improved, though, that sounds good to me.

Republican Florida Sen. Marco Rubio delivers his keynote speech entitled

Rubio Just Announced His Candidacy, And It’s Already Over

1:27 PM 04/13/2015

Sorry, Marco. I'd give you a chance if it were up to me, but it's not up to me. There's just no escaping your past, dude.

Garry Trudeau Craps On The Corpses Of Charlie Hebdo

10:58 AM 04/13/2015

If you still remember Garry Trudeau, you recall what a smug, delusional hypocrite he is. But nothing could have prepared you for this.

Caption This: Hillary Goes Out Amongst The Peasants

9:04 AM 04/13/2015

spontaneous

I’m Going To Enjoy The Hillary Clinton Campaign

4:56 PM 04/12/2015