Jim Treacher

Evan Bayh Is A Carpetbagger

Senator Evan Bayh (D-IN) speaks at the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado, August 27, 2008. U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) is expected to accept the Democratic presidential nomination at the convention on August 28. REUTERS/Mike Segar  (UNITED STATES) US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN 2008 (USA) - RTR21RCN

I live in the same neighborhood as Evan Bayh. Or so he wants Indiana voters to believe. Yet I never seem to see him at CVS or Dunkin Donuts or Jo-Ann Fabrics and Crafts. I sure would love to give that guy a friendly wave and a "Howdy, neighbor!" But he's never around.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the American Airlines Center on September 14, 2015 in Dallas, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

SUNY Prof: Trump Win 87% Sure

9:53 AM 10/21/2016

I'm not voting for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, but I don't blame anybody for voting against either of them. They both stink very badly. Most people think Killary's gonna win, because they believe the corrupt, (((globalist)))-run Lamestream Media. But there's one professor at Stony Brook University who ain't havin' any of that nonsense.

Anthony Weiner tweet Big Government

Feds Can’t Wait To Get Hands On Weiner

2:48 PM 10/20/2016

I know I said no more Weiner jokes. Sorry. It's in my nature.

              FILE - This June 23, 2012 file photo shows CNN's Anderson Cooper arrives at the 39th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif.  The gay advocacy group GLAAD says Madonna will present CNN's Anderson Cooper with an award for openly gay media professionals. GLAAD announced Saturday, Sept. 2, 2013,  that Cooper will receive its Vito Russo Award at the 24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in New York City on March 16.(Photo by Todd Williamson/Invision/AP, file)

Anderson Cooper: ‘Technically, You Cannot Polish Any Turd’

11:21 AM 10/20/2016

CNN: Caca News Network.

              FILE - In this Nov. 22, 2000 file photo, Broward County, Fla. canvassing board member Judge Robert Rosenberg examines a challenged vote at the Broward County Emergency Operations Center in Plantation, Fla. The mere mention of the 2000 election unsettles people in Palm Beach County. The county’s poorly designed “butterfly ballot” confused thousands of voters, arguably costing Democrat Al Gore the state, and thereby the presidency.  Gore won the national popular vote by more than a half-million ballots. But George W. Bush became president after the Supreme Court decided, 5-4, to halt further Florida recounts, more than a month after Election Day. Bush carried the state by 537 votes, enough for an Electoral College edge, and the White House.  (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee, File)

No, Al Gore Did Not Immediately Concede The 2000 Election

8:56 AM 10/20/2016

Why do you think the phrase "hanging chads" entered the American lexicon?

Hard alcohol. [Shutterstock/Alexandru Nika]

FINALLY: Scientists Make Booze Out Of CO2

3:30 PM 10/19/2016

Now that I've reached the Acceptance stage of Election 2016 (see Kübler-Ross), I've been freed of all cravings for alcohol. I don't need it anymore, because the bad feelings have all gone away. But not everybody is so lucky. Some people still have emotions. Some people still have souls. They need alcohol to survive, and the next four years ain't gonna be easy.

In this Sunday, Nov. 4, 2012 file photo, Malik Obama, half-brother of President Barack Obama, poses for photographs after speaking about the then upcoming U.S. elections to an Associated Press television reporter in the village of Kogelo where he lives in western Kenya. Malik Obama is running for governor in the country's nationwide elections to be held on Monday, March 4, 2013, saying in a phone interview Friday, March 1, 2013 that he can't run away from his name and association with the U.S. President. (AP Photo/Ben Curtis, File)

Not Sure Why One Of Obama’s Various Half-Siblings Is Attending The Debate, But…

9:29 AM 10/19/2016

Hey, after the past 8 years, it's nice that somebody has finally invited Malik Obama to something. His brother hasn't been very brotherly.

ST LOUIS, MO - OCTOBER 09:  Democratic presidential nominee former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton listens during the town hall debate at Washington University on October 9, 2016 in St Louis, Missouri. This is the second of three presidential debates scheduled prior to the November 8th election.  (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

If You Think YOU Hate Hillary Clinton, Try Working For Her

3:51 PM 10/18/2016

I always like it when I read a story about bad things happening to State Department employees. I suppose it's petty of me, but I'm a petty kind of guy. This time, though, I actually feel a bit sorry for those people. They went through something even worse than what they put me through. They had to deal with Hillary.

Caption This: Brady Campaign Attempts Satire

1:38 PM 10/18/2016


"They wanted him to crawl. He wanted them to run."

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - AUGUST 16:  (BROADCAST - OUT) Natalie Morales, Billy Bush and Al Roker joke on the Today show set on Copacabana Beach on August 16, 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

The End Of An Era: Billy Bush Leaves NBC

10:00 AM 10/18/2016

In the two glorious months that Billy Bush hosted the third hour of the Today Show, he became an intrinsic part of American life. Water coolers and chatrooms across the country thrummed with excitement: "Did you hear what Billy Bush said this morning? Gotta love that Billy Bush!" He was a phenomenon. He was America's Best Bro.

Lefties Finally Admit: ‘Binders Full Of Women’ Panic Was Fraudulent

12:20 PM 10/17/2016

If you're a conservative, or even merely a Republican, there's very little to be happy about these days. But at least Election 2016 has tricked our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters into admitting that attacking Mitt Romney for saying "binders full of women" was stupid and nonsensical.

Donald Trump (Photo: YouTube screengrab)

Are You Ready For… Trump TV?

8:45 AM 10/17/2016

If you think Trump will win, or can win, or even wants to win, that's terrific. I respect your religious beliefs. But if he doesn't win, if he disappoints you, don't worry. He'll be okay. He's got a Plan B.

Screen shot NBC

SNL Mocks Bill Clinton’s Accusers, Who Hillary Tried To Destroy [VIDEO]

9:15 AM 10/16/2016

I tried to watch last night's SNL, because in October 2016 it is a grim obligation. I tried, I really did, but I only got through it as far as the first bit below:

US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg waits on the steps of the US Supreme Court in Washington, DC 06 September 2005 for the casket of US Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist. (Photo: JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images)

Notorious RBG To Kaepernick: My Bad

5:13 PM 10/14/2016

Nobody escapes social justice. Not even a Supreme Court justice.

Gloria Allred, A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You

1:08 PM 10/14/2016

Let's face it, this election is no fun for anybody. On one side, you've got a small group of unhinged zealots furiously backing their completely unacceptable candidate no matter what, and a whole bunch of other people who hate themselves for having to reluctantly go along with it. On the other side... well, same deal. But there's one thing that brings all Americans together. There's one thing we can all agree on. Black or white, Republican or Democrat, Muslim or Scientologist, every single one of us knows this in our hearts:

John Podesta, then president and chief executive officer of the Center for American Progress, attends the National Italian American Foundation Gala in Washington in this October 29, 2011 file photo. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts/Files

Podesta To Young Female Staffer: What Am I, Chopped Liver?

9:59 AM 10/14/2016

No, seriously.

House Conference Chief Policy Director Evan McMullin (Twitter)

For Some Reason, Lots Of People Suddenly Want To Know How To Write In A Presidential Candidate

12:17 PM 10/13/2016

We're told that this election is a binary choice: You can either vote for the shady old lying white fatso with decades' worth of scandals, or you can vote for the exact same thing with a different set of genitals. Pick one. That's all you get.

Republican U.S. presidential nominee Donald Trump is seen in a video screengrab as he apologizes for lewd comments he made about women during a statement recorded by his presidential campaign and released via social media after midnight October 8, 2016. Donald J. Trump via Reuters/Handout

I Hereby Condemndorse Donald Trump

1:41 AM 10/13/2016

It is with a heavy heart that I condemn the actions of GOP presidential nominee Donald J. Trump, and I encourage you to vote for him on November 8.

Next-Level Protesting: Taking A Knee During The National Anthem WHILE SINGING IT

4:19 PM 10/12/2016

I tend to take the South Park view of the whole Colin Kaepernick controversy. I don't particularly care if you stand, sit, kneel, or pick your nose during the singing of the National Anthem. America will keep on going, whether or not you show it some respect. But if you use that moment to make some kind of protest, you have to be prepared to deal with people who don't like it.