Blog - DC Trawler
Today we learned that when Donald Trump and Chris Christie dined together at the White House earlier this week, Trump told everybody to order what they wanted. Except for Christie, who got what Trump wanted both of them to eat: meatloaf. That's just how it goes.
To recap one of the left's favorite arguments over the past month: It's okay to punch "Nazis," because Indiana Jones did it. Never mind that you can't shoot Muslims in the street just because Indiana Jones did it. The point is that if you tweet a picture of an actor doing something in a movie, that means it's okay to do the same thing in real life to people you don't like.
Back in the '70s, director Roman Polanski was convicted of raping a 13-year-old girl. Rather than serve jail time for his crime, he fled the country and hasn't set foot on U.S. soil since. Now he wants everybody to forget about it.
War. HUHNN!! Good God, y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'. Except, y'know, stopping Hitler. War was good for that. Also, it's good for inspiring deep thoughts from the greatest scientific mind of our lifetime.
As if it's not bad enough that we've got all these animals taking up space on our planet, eating people and leaving big turds everywhere and generally being an annoyance, now the smart fellers want to bring back animals that have been extinct for thousands of years. Great idea, dorks!
I never noticed it until people started pointing it out, but President Trump has a weird handshake sometimes. He grabs the other guy's hand and starts pulling on it like he's trying to start a lawnmower. I don't know if it's a dominance thing, or maybe Trump is just an awkward guy? Seems like it's not a lot of fun for the other feller, though.
Who is Bao Bao? Bao Bao is a stupid panda at the National Zoo in DC. Supposedly, it's a big deal that Bao Bao was born in America -- hello, so was I, nobody cares, nobody should care -- and it's an even bigger deal what Bao Bao is being shipped off to China. I say good riddance, but apparently some people are sad about it.
What do you do when you want to argue that it's okay to break the law? Well, you could assert that the law is wrong, and make an argument for why that's so. But that's a lot of work. Why not just pretend that the words "legal" and "illegal" don't exist, and that people who obey the law are no different than people who break it?
We're gonna build a wall, and we're gonna make Mexico pay for it. So those hombres gotta raise mucho dinero, pronto. And what's a great way to make some quick cash? Sell weed! (Or so I'm told, I really wouldn't know.)
A couple of months ago, a student at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, California, took the following video of Olga Pere Stable-Cox, his human sexuality professor, pontificating about the 2016 election. The delightfully named Stable-Cox called the election an "act of terrorism," labelled Mike Pence an "anti-gay human" and lamented that any American could vote for Donald Trump.
During the early days of the Obama administration, Jeff Zeleny (then at the NYT) showed us how tough, truth-seeking reporters ask questions of the President of the United States:
Just kidding! You guessed already. And you were right.
Who doesn't like Harrison Ford? Nobody doesn't like Harrison Ford, that's who. From 8 to 80, everybody wants the guy around for years to come, appearing in movies and making people say, "I sure do like that Harrison Ford." But apparently he doesn't want that, considering he can't cool it with his whole "Hey, let's crash this airplane" bit.
Obviously, I've got a lot of good reasons to be glad Hillary Clinton will never be allowed into the White House again without a vistor pass. But this is one of the biggest reasons.
If both of your parents are white, chances are that you were born white. And that's bad. Have you expressed the proper amount of regret about it yet? If not, now you can. Now you must.
How often do you see that headline? Accountability, what a concept.
At a weekly protest in NYC called People's Monday, protesters have been chanting really terrific stuff like "No Trump! No KKK! No fascist USA!" and "Every nation! Every race! Punch a Nazi in the face!" No, seriously. Just listen:
For some reason, a Swedish dude who calls himself PewDiePie has more YouTube subscribers than anybody else on the planet. All I knew about him before today was that he makes millions of dollars by posting videos of himself playing video games, and he has a really annoying voice. As it turns out, he also has a sense of humor that some of you may enjoy, assuming you're dicks.