Jim Treacher

See You In July

Alright, kids. I'm taking some vacation time, so if anything interesting happens between now and July 3, you'll just have to imagine what sort of stupid take I would've had on it.

Jan Yanes reacts as vote results show Democratic candidate Jon Ossoff losing to his challenger during his election night party being held at the Westin Atlanta Perimeter North Hotel on June 20, 2017 in Atlanta. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

POLL: How Do The Dems Start Winning Again?

2:56 PM 06/21/2017

Democrats are 0-4 this year, and they're not happy about it. What now?

Al Franken Getty Images/Mark Wilson

Bad News, America: Al Franken Doesn’t Want To Be President

12:47 PM 06/21/2017

Senator Smalley's not good enough, he's not smart enough, and doggone it, people don't like him.

Nazi Germany, Entrance of the Nazi flagbearers at the Party Day rally in Nuremberg, 1933. (Shutterstock/Everett Historical)

Germany Arrests 36 For Saying Things They Weren’t Supposed To Say

12:17 PM 06/21/2017

Germans like to tell people what they can and can't say. They want to tell everybody how to live their lives. As you may recall, a while back we had a bit of a disagreement with them about that whole attitude. It didn't turn out too well for them. But did they learn their lesson? Nein, das haben sie nicht.

FILE PHOTO - Minnesota police officer Jeronimo Yanez, charged in connection with the shooting death of a black motorist Philando Castile last July, is shown in this booking photo taken November 18, 2016 in St. Paul, Minnesota. Courtesy of Ramsey County Sheriff's Office/Handout via REUTERS

The Philando Castile Shooting Is Indefensible

10:24 AM 06/21/2017

I've never been a police officer. I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like. And I'm very skeptical of the Black Lives Matter folks, who tend to ignore or twist any facts that don't fit their narrative. But after watching the dashcam footage of Minnesota police officer Jeronimo Yanez shooting Philando Castile, I don't see how anybody can defend it.

Republican candidate Karen Handel for Georgia's 6th Congressional District special election talks to supporters during a campaign stop at Santino's Italian Restaurant & Pizzeria in Alpharetta, Georgia, April 17, 2017.  There is a special election tomorrow to fill that seat, which opened after Republican Tom Price was appointed as secretary of Health and Human Services. REUTERS/Kevin D. Liles

Woman Wins Election, Democrats Outraged

9:00 AM 06/21/2017

Jon Ossoff raised millions of dollars from people who couldn't vote for him. He couldn't even vote for himself. In retrospect, maybe that was a problem.

British Union Jack Flag (Epic Slow Mo You Tube/ Video Screen Capture)

UK Police Arrest Man For Rude Facebook Post About Finsbury Park Attack

4:55 PM 06/20/2017

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names... Actually, that's also a matter for the authorities.

U.S. musician Moby performs during a concert at Palace of the Sports in Mexico City September 6, 2005. (Photo: REUTERS/Henry Romero )

Moby Bravely Takes On Trump Just Like Everybody Else

2:30 PM 06/20/2017

You can tell we live in a fascist police state because whenever people criticize our leaders, they're sent off to concentration camps some dummies run onstage and yell at them. In the face of such horrible oppression, speaking truth to power requires incredible bravery. That's why it's so amazing that Moby, the popular '90s musician and living example of the long-term cognitive effects of animal-protein deprivation, has just released this music video.

Some want retailers from selling smartphones to children (Photo: Shutterstock/Iakov Filimonov)

POLL: Should Smartphones Be Banned For Preteens?

1:06 PM 06/20/2017

A dad of five in Colorado noticed that his preteen kids became more moody and reclusive the more they used their smartphones, and now he's pushing a ballot initiative to ban the sale or use of smartphones among kids under 13. What do you think?

No, Jumping Onstage At Shakespeare In The Park Is Not Protecting The President’s Life

9:59 AM 06/20/2017

Speaking as a RINO #NeverTrump traitor, here's what I'm observing about the real Republicans these days. Here's their game plan:

Bush Catching Up To Obama In Popularity

8:39 AM 06/20/2017

You know that meme with George W. Bush waving and the phrase "Miss Me Yet?" Well, I sure do miss him. He's a good man, and he was a good president. It sounds like more people are starting to realize that.

Alex Jones from Infowars.com speaks during a rally in support of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump near the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, July 18, 2016.  REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

What If Alex Jones Was The Voice Of The Amazon Echo?

5:06 PM 06/19/2017

If you like Alex Jones and you're offended by anything that mocks and insults him, you won't like what you're about to see. And just thinking about your displeasure makes me smile.

YORK, UNITED KINGDOM - SEPTEMBER 03:  A pig waits to be auctioned to farmers and buyers attending the York Livestock Auction after restrictions due to the Foot and Mouth Disease outbreak are eased on 3 September, 2007, York, England. Restrictions on cattle, pig and sheep sales at livestock markets have been lifted for the first time since the foot-and-mouth disease outbreak. Restrctions still apply in the Surrey disease affected zone.  (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)

Man Fights Pig, Loses

3:43 PM 06/19/2017

If you're like me -- and if you're reading this, I regret to inform you that you're more like me than you care to admit -- you love the great taste of pig. Bacon, ham, sausage, spare ribs, tenderloin... it's all good! Nutritious and delicious. Pigs are meant to be eaten.

FILE PHOTO - Carrie Fisher poses for cameras as she arrives at the European Premiere of Star Wars, The Force Awakens in Leicester Square, London, December 16, 2015.  REUTERS/Paul Hackett/File Photo

Carrie Fisher Died With Cocaine, Heroin, And Ecstasy In Her System

12:56 PM 06/19/2017

Carrie Fisher struggled with drug and alcohol addiction her whole life. It's sad, if unsurprising, to confirm that it's what killed her.

Screenshot(facebook/Danney Williams-Clinton)

Danney Williams To Bill Clinton: Happy Father’s Day, Dad

10:07 AM 06/19/2017

Last year, a young man in Arkansas named Danney Williams came out with the claim that William Jefferson Clinton is his biological father. There's just one problem with this assertion. In order for this to be true, it would mean that at some point in the past 30-odd years, Bill Clinton had sex with a woman other than Hillary.

The Union Flag flutters in front of the Big Ben clock tower on the Houses of Parliament in London in this April 12, 2015 file photo. REUTERS/Neil Hall

London Mosque Attacker: ‘I Want To Kill All Muslims’

9:00 AM 06/19/2017

Hurting and killing people for their beliefs is wrong. Period. When somebody launches a terrorist attack and openly states why he's doing it, I'm not going to pretend I don't know his motive. No matter what that motive is. Facts don't care about my feelings.

Whole Foods overpriced food

POLL: Will You Shop At Whole Foods, Now That Amazon Owns It?

3:46 PM 06/16/2017

Amazon is buying Whole Foods for $13.7 billion. With a "b"! Which seems like quite a markup, even for Whole Foods. What say you, dear reader?

Vice President Joe Biden smiles during the vice presidential debate at Centre College October 11, 2012 in Danville, Kentucky.  (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Joe Biden Steals Another Kiss

2:23 PM 06/16/2017

We live in a world where some parents are asking their own infants for "permission" before picking them up, to avoid perpetuating "rape culture." Yet we're allowing a serial groper in our midst to operate with impunity.

Good Guy With Gun Apprehends Escaped Cop-Killers In Tennessee

1:15 PM 06/16/2017

Every time there's a high-profile shooting, we're told that the only solution is to get rid of all the guns. Apparently there's a magic wand that will make them all go away, and somehow we're preventing liberals from waving it. Then you hear a story like the following, and you have to wonder what would've happened if somebody didn't have a gun.