Blog - DC Trawler
I live in the same neighborhood as Evan Bayh. Or so he wants Indiana voters to believe. Yet I never seem to see him at CVS or Dunkin Donuts or Jo-Ann Fabrics and Crafts. I sure would love to give that guy a friendly wave and a "Howdy, neighbor!" But he's never around.
I'm not voting for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, but I don't blame anybody for voting against either of them. They both stink very badly. Most people think Killary's gonna win, because they believe the corrupt, (((globalist)))-run Lamestream Media. But there's one professor at Stony Brook University who ain't havin' any of that nonsense.
I know I said no more Weiner jokes. Sorry. It's in my nature.
CNN: Caca News Network.
Why do you think the phrase "hanging chads" entered the American lexicon?
Now that I've reached the Acceptance stage of Election 2016 (see Kübler-Ross), I've been freed of all cravings for alcohol. I don't need it anymore, because the bad feelings have all gone away. But not everybody is so lucky. Some people still have emotions. Some people still have souls. They need alcohol to survive, and the next four years ain't gonna be easy.
Hey, after the past 8 years, it's nice that somebody has finally invited Malik Obama to something. His brother hasn't been very brotherly.
I always like it when I read a story about bad things happening to State Department employees. I suppose it's petty of me, but I'm a petty kind of guy. This time, though, I actually feel a bit sorry for those people. They went through something even worse than what they put me through. They had to deal with Hillary.
"They wanted him to crawl. He wanted them to run."
In the two glorious months that Billy Bush hosted the third hour of the Today Show, he became an intrinsic part of American life. Water coolers and chatrooms across the country thrummed with excitement: "Did you hear what Billy Bush said this morning? Gotta love that Billy Bush!" He was a phenomenon. He was America's Best Bro.
If you're a conservative, or even merely a Republican, there's very little to be happy about these days. But at least Election 2016 has tricked our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters into admitting that attacking Mitt Romney for saying "binders full of women" was stupid and nonsensical.
If you think Trump will win, or can win, or even wants to win, that's terrific. I respect your religious beliefs. But if he doesn't win, if he disappoints you, don't worry. He'll be okay. He's got a Plan B.
I tried to watch last night's SNL, because in October 2016 it is a grim obligation. I tried, I really did, but I only got through it as far as the first bit below:
Nobody escapes social justice. Not even a Supreme Court justice.
Let's face it, this election is no fun for anybody. On one side, you've got a small group of unhinged zealots furiously backing their completely unacceptable candidate no matter what, and a whole bunch of other people who hate themselves for having to reluctantly go along with it. On the other side... well, same deal. But there's one thing that brings all Americans together. There's one thing we can all agree on. Black or white, Republican or Democrat, Muslim or Scientologist, every single one of us knows this in our hearts:
We're told that this election is a binary choice: You can either vote for the shady old lying white fatso with decades' worth of scandals, or you can vote for the exact same thing with a different set of genitals. Pick one. That's all you get.
It is with a heavy heart that I condemn the actions of GOP presidential nominee Donald J. Trump, and I encourage you to vote for him on November 8.
I tend to take the South Park view of the whole Colin Kaepernick controversy. I don't particularly care if you stand, sit, kneel, or pick your nose during the singing of the National Anthem. America will keep on going, whether or not you show it some respect. But if you use that moment to make some kind of protest, you have to be prepared to deal with people who don't like it.