Blog - DC Trawler
Looks like I owe Huma Abedin an apology. When I wrote about Carlos Danger's latest dick-pic imbroglio earlier today, I assumed that once again Huma would put the needs of the Clinton campaign ahead of her own child's wellbeing. I was wrong.
What a disappointing summer for movies. First Ghostbusters turned out to be just a plain old bust. Then it started to look like Suicide Squad would die a slow, self-inflicted death. Now we have yet another summer box-office failure about fantasy characters in a struggling franchise who are doing stuff nobody cares about.
If you had told me a few years ago that I'd ever get tired of Anthony Weiner sending dick pics to a woman who isn't his wife, I wouldn't have believed you. But at this point in 2016, not even Carlos Danger's latest attempt to ruin his life can cheer me up.
Hey, kids. Just a quick note, if anybody's interested, that I'll be offline for a while. I don't remember the last time I took a break from the 60/60/24/7 news cycle. I really need one.
Rod Blagojevich is that rarest of creatures: a Democrat politician to whom laws actually apply.
If you're one of these #NeverTrump people who love Hillary Clinton and want her to be president, you're willing to tell a lot of lies about what Mr. Trump says. Or maybe you're just too stupid to shut up and listen and understand. Probably both. Regardless, you should be ashamed of yourself. What's wrong with making America great again? Why don't you want to do that? What's wrong with you?
I want this election to be over. Just pick one or the other of these two walking grotesqueries. I don't even care which one. Flip a coin. Just let this be over.
Cool clock, Ahmed! It reads 00:15:01. You got to meet Obama and Larry Wilmore, and you made people feel good about standing up to "Islamophobia," and you even got a scholarship to go to school in Qatar. But now you're back in America, and nobody's paying attention to you anymore, and so now your publicity-hound dad is doing this.
If Paul Ryan thought it was a good idea to wait so long to reluctantly endorse Mr. Trump, he'd better think again. He's about to take a serious drubbing from his Wisconsin primary opponent, whose name escapes me even though I just read it.
I keep going back and forth between which of the two major-party presidential candidates I hate the most. It all depends on which one's voice I'm hearing at that exact moment. For example, here's Hillary Clinton making me hate her living guts.
Nice try, you globalist GOPe cucks, but Trump didn't actually reveal any state secrets yesterday. He just made some $#!+ up.
I've seen a lot of hateful bigotry in my day, but nothing quite like this. Trigger Warning: If you have any compassion whatsoever, the actions of these students will sadden and enrage you.
A lot of people say millennials are useless: They're always staring at their phones, they listen to music that sounds like a robot getting raped down a flight of stairs, they think "Ghostbusters doesn't look very good" is a microaggression, etc. "Goddamn millennials," mutter the Americans who were alive when the Village People last had a top 10 hit.
Look, I don't have anything in particular against babies. Everybody loves babies, Planned Parenthood aside. I'm sure your baby is great. He or she is undoubtedly cute and smart and wonderful, because you're cute and smart and wonderful. Terrific. You're terrific, and your baby is terrific. Good for you.
Mac (and cheese) lives matter.
I think Patricia Smith deserves much more respect than she's gotten from Hillary Clinton, and I think the parents of U.S. Army Captain Humayun Khan deserve much more respect than they've gotten from Donald Trump. I'm told this makes me "disingenuous," but that's my sincere opinion. The families of Americans who serve their country aren't infallible or above criticism, but they do deserve our respect.
Sometimes I despair that all hope is lost. It seems like the human race is incapable of learning from our mistakes. We just keep doing the same stupid crap over and over and over again. I get numb to it all. Sure, the sun'll come out tomorrow, but... who cares?
Remember the Swedish Bikini Team? Did you ever wish they had fought crime? Maybe it was just me... Well, now that dream is a reality.
Many of us have a favorite sound. Something that calms us and helps us find a little peace in our chaotic lives: The gentle singing of birds. The soft roar of a waterfall. The steady, hypnotic ticking of a grandfather clock. Hillary Clinton yawping into a microphone at the top of her lungs.