Jim Treacher

Chilean Tries To Chill With Lions

Wild lions mate in Amboseli national park, Kenya on March 13, 2013. Amboseli's lion population only a few years ago numbered just 100 and concern over lion/human confrontation remains high as numbers have declined in recent years due to increased encroachment of the human population into animal territory and their protection of cattle from predators. AFP PHOTO/Carl de Souza        (Photo credit should read CARL DE SOUZA/AFP/Getty Images)

Animals are dumb and I don't like them. If an animal tries to kill a human being, then the animal must be killed. That's all there is to it. Even if, um, the human being totally wants the animal to kill him.

'Eagles Of Death Metal' Singer: Everybody Needs Guns (screenshot: iTele)

Rocker Who Survived Muslim Terror Attack Banned From French Music Festivals For Offending Muslims

3:56 PM 05/23/2016

The first rule of identity politics: In any dispute involving Muslims, the victims are always Muslims. Always, always, always.

Congratulations To Michelle Fields On Her New Job At HuffPo

10:24 AM 05/23/2016

I've never been a fan of the Huffington Post, mainly because of their lack of diversity. No, I'm not talking about this lack of diversity:

John McAfee For President

1:20 PM 05/20/2016

This November, you'll be told that you need to choose between a criminal and a lunatic. Why not vote for a candidate who's arguably both?

A Lexus version of a Google Self Driving car is shown in Moutain View, California, U.S., April 8, 2016.  AUTOS-DRIVERLESS/  REUTERS/Alexandria Sage

Google Unveils Plans For Self-Driving Flypaper-Covered Nightmare Car

12:30 PM 05/20/2016

If you're a longtime reader of my blog -- which I suppose is possible -- you may know that shortly after I joined the Daily Caller, a State Department "security" agent named Mike McGuinn hit me with his armored SUV while I was crossing the street in Washington, DC. He shattered my knee, and I was thrown into the middle of the street. It was not the best evening.

Democratic U.S. presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (L) listens to rival Bernie Sanders during the Democratic U.S. presidential candidates' debate in Flint, Michigan, March 6, 2016. REUTERS/Jim Young

Bernie And Hillary Sittin’ In A Tree, C-L-A-W-I-N-G

10:21 AM 05/20/2016

I'm never voting for Donald Trump or pretending it's a good idea to vote for him, but I'm not entirely unsympathetic to the argument that hey, at least he's not Hillary Clinton. We can quibble over which one is worse, the criminal or the lunatic, but there's no denying that they are indeed two separate biological entities. If that's enough for you, then do whatever your conscience will allow. After all, what's bad for Hillary is good for America. At least until President Trump starts a nuclear war after Kim Jong Un calls him a big fat dummy.

Redskins logo [YouTube]

I’m Offended That Native Americans Aren’t Offended By The NFL’s Washington [RACIAL SLUR] Team

1:48 PM 05/19/2016

White people in the United States have a lot to answer for: Slavery. Capitalism. Global warming. Fuller House. But among the ills inflicted on America by the pasty plague of white folks, the worst crime of all is the name of Washington, DC's professional football team. It's so horribly offensive that I can't even allow myself to type it out. Even thinking about it triggers me. I'll just call them the Washington R-words.

First Trailer For The All-Female 'Ghostbusters' Reboot Is Definitely ... Something (YouTube)

Laugh At The New Ghostbusters Trailer Or You Hate Women

9:26 AM 05/19/2016

Alright, listen up. You are going to watch the second trailer for the all-new, all-female Ghostbusters. You are going to laugh. You are going to think it looks scary and fun and good. You are going to like it. You are going to publicly admit that you like it.

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl on second season of 'Serial.' (Photo: Getty Images)

Bowe Bergdahl Won’t Be Court-Martialed Until Obama Is Safely Out Of Office

5:00 PM 05/18/2016

That's the most cynical possible headline I could give this. Which, in 2016, is how you know it's true.

European Union flags flutter outside the EU Commission headquarters in Brussels, Belgium, in this file picture taken October 28, 2015. REUTERS/Francois Lenoir/Files

Europe Is Tired Of The ‘Free Speech’ Fad

12:39 PM 05/18/2016

Here in America, we've got a clear choice this November when it comes to free speech. On one side of the aisle, we've got a merciless autocrat who wants to use the full force of government to keep us from criticizing people in power. On the other side of the aisle, we've got another one just like her.

(Paul Prescott/Shutterstock)

Denver Kindergartener Suspended For Bringing Bubble Gun To School

9:23 AM 05/18/2016

Everybody knows that guns are bad. If we ban guns, then nobody will have guns and nobody can shoot each other. (Duh! It's called logic, people.) But did you know that a gun-shaped object doesn't actually need to emit a projectile at high speed in order to be dangerous?

First Trailer For The All-Female 'Ghostbusters' Reboot Is Definitely ... Something (YouTube)

Lady Ghostbusters Get Big PR Boost From Comedy Legend Hillary Clinton

1:34 PM 05/17/2016

As we all know by now, the original Ghostbusters is a crime against women. Peter Venkman was a one-man rape culture, and soon he'll be discarded in the dustbin of history.

Islam Muslim green star and crescent (Getty Images)

#NotAllMuslims Arrest 8 Women In Iran For Being Instagrammed With Bare… Faces

9:05 AM 05/17/2016

Thanks to Ben Rhodes, Barack Obama, and all the other storytellers in the White House, we now know that the Iranians are our partners in peace. The question isn't whether we can trust them. The question is: Why should they trust us? After all, we're America. We're the Great Satan. We're everything that's wrong with the world. We're so decadent, we even allow our women to walk around in public without chaperones and with faces fully exposed. It's disgraceful.

The sign for the Whole Foods grocery store is seen in Lakewood, Colorado in this September 11, 2007,  REUTERS/Rick Wilking/Files

‘Love Wins F*g’ Hoaxster Drops Lawsuit Against Whole Foods

11:24 AM 05/16/2016

Love wins. And so does Whole Foods.

              First lady Michelle Obama greets customers at Sterling Farms Grocery Store in Marrero, La., Tuesday, July 23, 2013.  The store was opened last year by actor Wendell Pierce, second from left, as part of the

‘Bunk’ Busted For (Allegedly) Beating Bernie Babe

9:24 AM 05/16/2016

If you've ever watched The Wire -- hailed as the "best TV show ever" by anybody who's never seen Battle of the Network Stars -- you almost certainly fell in love with the cuddly Detective William "Bunk" Moreland, portrayed by actor Wendell Pierce. I know I did. And after I read the following, all I could do was wander around the room muttering F-bombs over and over again...

Dogs Are Better Than Cats, Especially When There’s A Rattlesnake Around

3:52 PM 05/13/2016

I've always been more of a dog person than a cat person. Dogs are loyal, friendly, and sweet, and they'll never steal your soul through your mouth while you're sleeping.

Republican U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump reacts during a campaign event in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, U.S., April 21, 2016. REUTERS/Carlos Barria

Sorry, Libs, But It’s Perfectly Normal For Donald Trump To Pretend To Be A Publicist Named ‘John Miller’

12:51 PM 05/13/2016

Every day, the Hillary-loving media finds some new bit of trivia about Donald Trump to obsess over. "Oh no, he won't release his taxes! Oh no, he's playing footsie with neo-Nazis and white-power creeps! Oh no, he thinks Ted Cruz's dad killed JFK!" Ugh. Whatever. As if any of these things have any bearing on his ability to Make America Great Again. Now they're all pretending it's a big deal that Trump used to call reporters and pretend to be a Trump spokesman named "John Miller." First of all, it's not true, which we know because Trump denies it. Second of all, who cares that it's obviously true, at least to anyone with the gift of hearing? Here's why Trump didn't do it, and why it doesn't matter that he very clearly did it:

WATCH: Iran Releases Overnight Footage Of Captive US Sailors (screenshot: MSNBC)

U.S. Navy Reassigns Commander For Allowing Our Friends In Iran To Rescue Our Sailors

9:35 AM 05/13/2016

If life under King Barry has taught us one thing, it's that Iran is a good friend to the United States. Sure, you hear a lot of "Death to America" and "You're the Great Satan" and whatnot, but that's just old buddies razzing each other. That Iran, such a kidder.

              In this Monday, May 6, 2013, photo, a Wendy's single with cheese large combo meal is photographed at a Wendy's restaurant in Mt. Lebanon, Pa. The Wendy's Co. reports quarterly financial results before the market opens on Wednesday, May 8, 2013. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

Welcome To Wendy’s, WHIRRRR-CLICK-BUZZ, May I Take Your Order?

1:16 PM 05/12/2016

When you make something more expensive, people can afford less of it. That's why a $15/hour minimum wage will put people out of work when employers can't afford it. This is unavoidable. It will happen, and it's already happening.