Blog - DC Trawler
Guys, Guys, Guys, Guys, Guys: A Vote For Cory Gardner Is A Vote For Getting Caught In A Flood Without A Condom!
What you're about to see and hear did not come from The Onion. The naughty scamps at Clickhole had nothing to do with it. College Humor was not involved. The following ads are honestly meant to get Coloradans to vote for Mark Udall. Or at least to stay away from the polls.
As always, the Greatest President Ever has his faithful acolytes eating out of the palm of his hand. It's just that now, less than a week from Election Day, they want their order to go.
Ladies and gentlemen: Mark Leibovich of the New York Times.
Behold! Media Matters Hack (Who Lied About Me When I Got Hit By A Car) Embarrasses Himself Once More
I'm glad Media Matters is paying Eric Boehlert. He's a reliable source of schadenfreude, and I'd hate to see him homeless.
Thom Tillis is running for the Senate, he's a Republican, and it's a week until the election. Therefore, you can say anything you want about him, regardless of whether it's true or even makes sense.
The next President of the United States gave herself quite a 67th birthday present the other night when she said: "Don't let anybody tell you that it's corporations and businesses that create jobs."
It's hard to believe, but people are getting sick of Democrats blaming everything on the Koch brothers. It was a dumb tactic to begin with, and as election day looms, the Dems' bristling panic doesn't make them sound any smarter.
Longtime Saturday Night Live writer James Downey has gone on the record about trying to satirize the Greatest President Ever: "If I had to describe Obama as a comedy project, I would say, 'Degree of difficulty, 10 point 10'... There's not a single thing to grab onto — certainly not a flaw or hook that you can caricature."
Yesterday I told you about CNN's Sally Kohn falling for the false "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" narrative that's been spun around the Michael Brown shooting. She made up her own set of facts about what happened and who said what, and now that the physical evidence has proven her wrong, she's not dealing with it very well.
What happens when an abstraction becomes a reality? What happens when you realize that a virus doesn't care about your opinions?
Kudos to my colleague Matt Lewis for standing up for a woman who was attacked and then laughed at, nationally, for being attacked.
We all know that "No" means "No." But some of us have forgotten that if you're asked a yes/no question and you don't say "No," you're saying "Yes."
If you've been paying attention to the news for the past couple of years, you may have noticed a pattern: When a black teenager is shot by a white person, or even a "white Hispanic," that black teenager becomes a secular saint. Once his martyrdom has been established, as quickly as possible, any facts that interfere with his veneration are dismissed if not condemned.
Humiliating the pompous and proving that foodies are frauds is great sport in any language. Watch these two Dutch bros walk around a food convention in the Netherlands, serving yummy McDonald's grub to a bunch of "experts" and telling them it's organic:
Sure, the Democrats are taking the rest of us down with them. But that shouldn't keep us from having a laugh at their expense as their world falls apart and they claw at each other's throats. Tee-hee!
Sometimes, you have to shock people in order to get their attention. If that means exploiting children to lament the supposed exploitation of women, them's the breaks.
As we all know, PETA's mission is to stop people from eating tasty animals. In furtherance of this goal, the members of the group are willing to humiliate themselves in any way their strange imaginations allow. Usually this involves some form of public nudity, likening the chicken industry to the Holocaust, frightening children with fake Happy Meals, and other buffoonery.