Blog - DC Trawler
Now it can be told.
As we all know, last week Gwyneth Paltrow joined the SNAP Challenge, in which wealthy celebrities pretend to live like people on the USDA's Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. These wealthy celebrities are doing this to
feel better about themselves and signal to their peers that they're good people improve the lives of the poor.
TRIGGER WARNING: The following item may offend you if you're of Mexican heritage, an extraterrestrial, and/or a humorless Social Justice Warrior with absolutely nothing useful to do.
We all know how scary it is to be a Muslim in the 21st Century. Everywhere they go, people give them funny looks, draw cartoons that offend them, show Clint Eastwood movies they don't like, and all sorts of other indignities. So who can blame them for lashing out against infidels who refuse to submit to Allah?
Let's say you're running for president and you want to appear to care about average, ordinary Americans. But you're also an utter phony and you know it. You're terrified that if you actually talk to any average, ordinary Americans, and there are microphones to capture it, you might humiliate yourself even more than you've done already. What to do?
Our nation stands at a crossroads. No, we have nothing to fear from Islamic terrorism or Putin's saber-rattling or rampant government spending or any of those other right-wing bugaboos. The real danger all of us face is that someone, somewhere, might not approve of a gay wedding.
What is it with MSNBC hosts and the IRS? Melissa Harris-Perry just got done calling Americans a "plague" for the way we spend our money in other countries, and now it turns out she isn't paying her fair share to her own.
ATTN lumberjacks: It could be worse. You could be working for Pinch.
The Rev. Al Sharpton, whose head already resembles a deflated balloon collapsing into an Italian suit, apparently thinks he still needs to lose a few pounds. That's the only plausible explanation for the following.
You wingnuts keep trying to make this "e-mail" thing a big deal, but it's not. Hillary Clinton is going to be the very first Queen of America, and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.
It's become such a cliche that you hardly even think about it anymore: "Wow, those TSA screeners must really like rubbing their hands all over other guys' packages, huh?"
(NOTE: One year ago, long before anybody had any idea Hillary Clinton was going to run for president LOL, I posted the following. Now that Hillary is a year older and she's given up pretending she might not run, it's timelier than ever. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, I'll enjoy that.)
NOTE: The Following Isn't Racist, Because Ezra Klein Works for the Democrats.
I'm not as big a fan of Obama's Cuba policy as he is, but then, I'm not as big a fan of communist dictatorships as he is. If it means that the lives of Cubans could be improved, though, that sounds good to me.
Sorry, Marco. I'd give you a chance if it were up to me, but it's not up to me. There's just no escaping your past, dude.
If you still remember Garry Trudeau, you recall what a smug, delusional hypocrite he is. But nothing could have prepared you for this.