Republican Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul kicked off Christmas Eve Eve — known to “Seinfeld” fans as “Festivus” — with his annual airing of grievances.
“Good morning and Happy Festivus! Today there will be many, many grievances aired, almost all in good fun,” Paul tweeted by way of introduction.
I’ve got a lot of problems with you people… pic.twitter.com/UyzjhPRxUh
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
Paul began with a slap at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the recent impeachment articles that were passed by House Democrats against President Donald Trump.
I feel like we have to start with impeachment, don’t you? I’ve got a lot of problems with all of you people and impeachment.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
Take Nancy Pelosi (please). I don’t know if I can stop laughing long enough to air my grievances with Nancy. Her new plan is great – she is going to punish the president by NOT sending his impeachment to Senate? Next, maybe she’ll threaten to NOT send us anymore legislation?
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
He quickly pivoted to the president’s personal attorney and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
It’s going to be really hard to live with myself if I don’t get to sit in a chair all day long for weeks at a time listening to people talk about Rudy Giuliani.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
Thankfully, I didn’t have any calls with Rudy, or Adam Schiff would have been spying on me. Of course, the real trouble would have come at Christmas dinner when my Dad asked me what the hell I was doing talking to Rudy Giuliani. https://t.co/V4URJN5ISP
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
“You do have to wonder how he was the best the President could think of for a lawyer – ‘hey, get me that guy who spills his guts on CNN and butt dials everyone in Washington. He can keep a secret!'” Paul cracked. (RELATED: ‘You’ve Heard Of The Constitution?’ Rand Paul Fires Back At Reporter Who Asks Whether Whistleblower Can Be Unmasked)
You do have to wonder how he was the best the President could think of for a lawyer – “hey, get me that guy who spills his guts on CNN and butt dials everyone in Washington. He can keep a secret!”
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
Paul then turned his attention to former National Security Adviser John Bolton, adding, “I’m talking about John Bolton. Not all the other hawks the President hired, didn’t listen to, got mad at and fired. Neocon Apprentice really wasn’t very well thought out…”
Looking back at that last tweet I probably should narrow that down. Bolton. I’m talking about John Bolton. Not all the other hawks the President hired, didn’t listen to, got mad at and fired. Neocon Apprentice really wasn’t very well thought out…
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
Paul paused his airing of grievances briefly to give the president credit for “pretty good” instincts when it came to foreign policy — but followed with a quick golf-themed jab at his generosity toward his own possible flaws.
Thankfully though, the President usually does listen to his own instincts, which on foreign policy are pretty good. Though if you ask him, he will insist they are PERFECT.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
“President Trump grades phone calls the way he scores his golf game, believe me a few mulligans are taken,” Paul tweeted.
President Trump grades phone calls the way he scores his golf game, believe me a few mulligans are taken.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019
After a series of complaints about what he saw as wasteful government spending, Paul took a break — promising to return later with more complaints, golf stories and even an arm-wrestling competition between Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer “to see who gets witnesses at the impeachment trial!”
We will be back later to talk about golfing with the President, some of my congressional friends, and don’t miss our FEATS of strength later where Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell will arm wrestle to see who gets witnesses at the impeachment trial!
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2019