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Well, Isn’t This Symbolic: All The U.S. Has To Do Is Take Out Iran To Advance In The World Cup

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USA fans hold a scarf with the words 'More Beer' on it during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Group B match between England and USA at Al Bayt Stadium on November 25, 2022 in Al Khor, Qatar. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

(Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)

Andrew Powell Sports and Entertainment Blogger
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Symbolism, symbolism, symbolism.

The United States of America squared off against England in FIFA World Cup Group B play Nov. 25, scoring a point after pulling off a 0-0 draw against the soccer powerhouse. When the smoke settled, it was then revealed that the U.S. still controls their own destiny to advance to the World Cup Round of 16: Literally all they have to do is beat Iran Nov. 29, and they’re in.

So it’s come to this: The same country that has been talking absolute toilet water about blowing us up and threatening to kill our officials, and whatever other nonsense that their government speaks, is the only thing standing in our way from advancing in the World Cup.

How symbolic.

Yeah, that too.

Beating Iran is no guarantee, let’s all be clear on that. I’ve seen a lot of cocky Americans out there thinking we’ve already got the game locked up. And don’t get me wrong, I love cocky Americans. We should cocky be after getting that win (I don’t care what the scoreboard says) against England, but…

Let the numbers speak for themselves:

FIFA Men’s World Rankings:

United States: No. 16

Iran: No. 20

Also, the same team that we drew with 1-1 (Wales) is also the same squad that Iran took out, 2-0.

Iran is no slouch.

But man, you’ve got to love cocky Americans.

And if we don’t beat Iran, we’ve always got this going for us:

So here we go, Iran: You keep threatening to hit us with missiles and go to war with us, and you still haven’t done a damn thing because you know you’d get your clock cleaned, so let’s just go ahead and settle this on the soccer pitch.

The symbolism is great here. It’s the classic tale of “good guys vs. bad guys,” with one of them being an ultra-violator of human rights and a supporter of terrorism, and the other side being, well, America. (RELATED: England’s World Cup Team Is Worth $1.19 Billion More Than The US Team In Player Salaries)

The United States can win for the entire culture, and needs to win for the entire culture.

It’s bigger than just the World Cup.

I honestly hope we beat the living hell out of these guys.

Imagine the glory.

USA! USA!! USA!!!

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