A paper published in late April by a group of scientists focused on how best to control human conception in our cosmos.
The scientists argued that over the course of the next ten years (2023 to 2033), we’re going to “see a growth in orbital space tourism, with flights lasting from days to weeks.” As a result of the length of these journeys, it’s unrealistic to think that passengers won’t start shagging up in space, so obviously this is a major concern that scientists should definitely try and solve now (said no one, ever).
For argument’s sake, let’s pretend this is a real problem. And clearly an international team of scientists and clinicians feel it is. NASA dealt with the situation in the easiest way possible: forbidding all astronauts from even attempting sex in space, according to an ancient article from The Atlantic.
‘Starvation, Death, Destruction’: Superstar Actor Makes Strange Warning To Society | @DailyCaller
Dennis Quaid would probs be super into my commentary for the Daily Caller. Glad to hear at least one sensible celebrity among the idiots. https://t.co/WHRSEBnU0F
— KAY SMYTHE (@KaySmythe) April 6, 2023
If space tourism truly becomes a normalized thing, which I assume will be just like hit HBO comedy “Avenue 5,” then dealing with the practicalities of sex in space will have more to do with physics than anything else. The microgravity of space is something that might make sex pretty difficult, messy, and complicated, according to Gizmodo.
“Our starting point was a throwaway comment about sex in space, but when we checked, we were surprised the sector has not openly considered the risks and this led to the study,” study author David Cullen said in a statement, the outlet noted.
If humans are able to pull off sex in space, then scientists have to deal with the potential risks of women falling pregnant out there in the cosmos. The study authors were emphatic about what a huge crisis this could be, and why resources should be dedicated to solving this pressing issue. (RELATED: North Korea Decides It’s A Nuclear Power)
That isn’t a pressing issue. It’s only a pressing issue to career astronauts, who are banned from sex in space. Or it’s a problem for the rich and famous who will be able to afford to spend weeks up in the cosmos in some weird, probably practically very boring, cruise-like travel in space.
So no, this isn’t a real problem like the current financial crisis, our total inability to predict major global disasters, the unending threat of nuclear war, or even external, cataclysmic threats from our cosmos. But I’m so glad someone is wasting their time on studying sex in space while these crises continue. Not.
