Swimmers Straight Up Attacked And Wounded By Dolphins In Japan

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Andrew Powell Sports and Entertainment Blogger
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Our oceans are angry — seriously angry.

Four swimmers have been injured after dolphins attacked them at a beach in Japan, according to officials.

One man in his 60s suffered broken ribs and bites to his hands Sunday after a dolphin hammered into him a few meters off Mihama’s Suishohama beach, located in the Fukui prefecture.

In a separate incident at the same beach, another man in his 40s was also bit on the arm by a dolphin.

Later in the day, dolphins attacked two other individuals as well.

Fukui has now recorded six dolphin attacks in 2023, according to local police, and signs have been installed at the beach warning swimmers to avoid getting near or touching the dolphins.

Here’s a video of one of the attacks:

Okay, so a few thoughts about this whole thing.

First off, “The Simpsons” was right again:

Second, this is revenge for what the Japanese have done to dolphins for thousands of years now:

Third, this is totally a sign that the Miami Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl this season.

Don’t ask me, Tyreek Hill said it himself — and said it would come “easy” at that.

In other words, it’s the year of the dolphin.

I don’t mean to make fun of a bad situation, but it is kind of funny how dolphin attacks are going on just before a potential Super Bowl run for the Miami Dolphins, and then on top of that, “The Simpsons” predicted that dolphins would eventually start attacking humans. And then, of course, you’ve got to throw the revenge factor in there with South Park highlighting the Japanese history of, err, bad habits (to put it nicely). (RELATED: Holy Cow! Check Out This Footage Of Killer Whales Attacking A Yacht During The 2023 Ocean Race!)

Quite frankly, dolphins are sick of our crap, and the Dolphins want championships.

Like I said … it’s the year of the dolphin.