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1.) Fight of the Century: Sandra Fluke vs. Tucker Carlson? – Matt Labash, one of The Daily Caller’s top fake-advice columnists, makes the bold claim that Sandra Fluke is a superior practitioner of fisticuffs than his friend, Daily Caller editor-in-chief Tucker Carlson:
“Tucker boxed in high school, and used to work at MSNBC, so he knows how to throw a punch and is accustomed to acts of gratuitous violence and treachery. But Fluke has a lethal figure-four-leglock, and is a notorious head-butter. So my money’s on Fluke to drop him like a buttered hot plate.”
There are many more of these pearls of wisdom in Labash’s latest column, in which he answers the pressing questions of Daily Caller interns.
2.) Chairman Tom — Mark Steyn just can’t get over the inflated reputation of New York Times columnist Tom Friedman, TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports:
“New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman has a well-documented fascination with China’s authoritarian means the nation uses to run its economy and govern its people. But Friedman’s appreciation for benevolent authoritarianism is dangerous, National Review columnist Mark Steyn said Wednesday … ‘I think it’s not so odd because Friedman succumbs nakedly to the totalitarian temptation,’ Steyn said. ‘In other words, every so often he writes these columns and he’s supposedly the most influential in-house thinker at the New York Times saying, ‘China — sometimes if you have benevolent authoritarianism, you can do the things that need to be done,’ which as he sees it is banning the plastic bag. In America it is difficult to ban the plastic bag because you got this great big messy, democratically elected legislature. And unfortunately the kind of boobs that the citizenry elect aren’t as benign and enlightened as the kind of chaps that wind up on the Chinese politburo.”
One imagines that Friedman will find himself on the wrong side of history.
3.) Perfect Portman – Ohio Sen. Rob Portman’s colleagues used to joke about just how unbelievably awesome the man who is now considered a top contender to be Mitt Romney’s VP was. TheDC’s Alex Pappas reports:
“When Rob Portman left his job as director of the Office of Legislative Affairs in the George H.W. Bush administration in 1991, his colleagues inside the White House had some fun at his expense when they sent out an invitation for a farewell party in his honor. An invitation to that bash, obtained by The Daily Caller after requesting records about Portman from the George Bush Presidential Library in College Station, Texas, shows his colleagues roasting him as a clean cut, attractive and ambitious politico. The one-page invite jokingly refers to the former White House associate counsel and director of the legislative affairs office as ‘(Th)Rob Portman.’ ‘ He’s educated, presentable and comes from a good family,’ the photocopied invite to the April 9, 1991 farewell reception said.”
4.) Surprising pick to head Women for Mitt Coalition — Her name is Ann Romney and she just happens to be Mitt Romney’s wife. As it turns out, she thinks Mitt would be just swell for women. TheDC’s Caroline May reports:
“The day contraception activist Sandra Fluke is set to appear with President Barack Obama at a campaign stop to highlight the president’s focus on women’s issues, Republican candidate Mitt Romney announced his Women for Mitt Coalition … Romney’s own wife, Ann Romney, is the new coalition’s chairman. ‘I’m proud to be heading up this effort to reach out to women voters,’ said Ann Romney. ‘There is no doubt that women will play a critical role in determining the outcome of this election, and that’s something Mitt understands well. He also knows how to turn around this economy so that it will better serve the interests of women and families across America.’”
5.) Poll of the Day: Kaine up in VA – CBS/NYTimes/Quinnipiac poll of Virginia Senate race: Tim Kaine 48%, George Allen 46%.