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Obama: ‘Joe Biden will go down in history as one of the best vice presidents — ever’

President Obama told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews on Thursday that Vice President Joe Biden and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton “will go down in history” as the best in their respective fields — despite the former’s parade of gaffes and the latter’s horrible stewardship of America’s foreign policy.

At the tail end of Chris Matthews’ interview with President Obama on Thursday, he told the president to prepare for “a question you may not like to answer. This could be tough. It’s an essay question.”

“Alright,” the president gulped nervously.

“The qualities required of a president,” Matthews intoned. “Vice President Joe Biden, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Compare and contrast.”

“Not a CHANCE am I going there,” a visibly relieved Obama exclaimed. “Here’s what I”ll say. Both Hillary and Joe would make outstanding presidents, and possess the qualities that are needed to be outstanding presidents. I think Joe Biden will go down in history as one of the best vice presidents — ever. And he has been with me at my side in every tough decision that I’ve made — from going after bin Laden to dealing with the healthcare issues, you name it, he’s been there.”

“Hillary I think will go down in history as one of the finest secretaries of state we’ve ever had,” he continued. “[She] helped to transition us away from a deep hole that we were in when I first came into office around the world, and to rebuild confidence and trust in the United States. And they’ve got different strengths, but both of them would be outstanding.”

Biden has largely been reduced to a rim shot on late-night comedy programs following a unending series of bloopers and misplaced words. Clinton, meanwhile, helped shape a world where al-Qaeda is growing, China and Russia are aggressively probing for weaknesses and our allies are distrustful and suspicious of us.

Obama also claimed that five years of the presidency have made him “humbler, as opposed to cockier about what you as an individual can do.”

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