Unless you’re Santa, leave me alone
“I’m out of the office 12/21-28. Call me at 919.xxx-xxxx with anything urgent. Or if you’re Santa.” — BuzzFeed White House Correspondent’s Evan McMorris Santoro‘s outgoing email message.
Merry Christmas, but your present really sucks
On Monday The Mirror posed the question, “What’s the lamest Christmas gift you’ve ever received,” to journalists and other political types around town. Some late answers, like this one, rolled in late last night. See the full list with some pretty potent answers here.
From Toby Harnden, the Washington Bureau Chief for The Sunday Times (of London): “A tank top – nothing to do with Michael Dukakis, but the thing known on this side of the Pond as a sweater vest. I was about nine. It was brown and striped and I hated it. Rick Santorum’s presidential campaign brought back some traumatic memories.”
Slate wants you to feel okay about your penis size. Also: Dicks get clicks: Just dicking around before Christmas, Slate promos a story, writing,”Stop worrying about size– 90 percent of human penises are between 5 and 7 inches.” The story (which I know you don’t want to read) is here. The picture is a giant cucumber in the sky (because that’s where cucumbers are always hanging out, right)? The story is by Tom Hickman but The Mirror feels strongly that he should be called “Dickman.” The story isn’t even by a Slate writer. It’s been excerpted from God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis by Dickman, er, Hickman, out now from Soft Skull Press.
Speaking of dickheads… “Just an overall no to this guy doing burpees unnecessarily close to me at the gym.” — Washington Examiner‘s Kelly Cohen.
Judgmental Gene Weingarten
“I love it when someone deservedly gets into trouble for bigotry by accurately quoting the Bible. @philrobertson” — WaPo‘s “humor” columnist Gene Weingarten.
Roseanne thinks evil lurks within: Happy F–king Holidays, right?
“I live my beliefs, or try to-it’s my belief that there R some ppl on earth, in every family, street, nationality, or location who R evil.” — former presidential hopeful Roseanne Barr.
Convo Between Two Female Journos
Today’s conversation is between motivational author and blogger Sophia Nelson and MSNBC’s Karen Finney.
Finney: “That’s what we’re here for. Sisterhood!”
Nelson: “True but you were dropping wisdom! I was listening!”
Anti-sports tweeters are losers?
“People who get annoyed by sports tweets are the most annoying people on Twitter.” — Poltiico‘s Ben White, who might be wrong for the first time in his life.
Deep thoughts between two journos regarding stinky strangers
The journalists are National Journal‘s Alex Seitz-Wald and Sam Baker. Seriously, couldn’t these gal pals just go hang in the bathroom and discuss this stuff?
Alex Seitz-Wald: “Important safety precautions in Santa Fe, NM.” With that, he displayed a sign saying, “For the protection or our guests and staff, we are strictly a fragrance-free establishment. Colognes, perfumes, essential oils and fragranced hair and body products are discouraged. Thank you for your cooperation.”
Sam Baker: I would love it if this caught on.
Alex Seitz-Wald: The perfume area in dept stores is my hell.
Sam Baker: Same. Nothing strong enough for me to smell on a stranger is something that smells good.