The Civil War. Jim Crow. Washington, D.C.’s menthol ban.
America’s black population has a long history of fighting, and overcoming, injustice: slavery, segregation, anti-Kamala bigotry, you name it. But right at this very moment, the Chocolate City is reeling from a wildly racist law that even has the support of Joe Biden: a ban on menthol cigarettes. (RELATED: Supposedly ‘Progressive’ NBA Coach Steve Kerr Did One Of The Most Racist Things We’ve Ever Seen)
White Washingtonians and casual observers from America’s heartland will point to the city’s crime surge, shoddy policing, and skyrocketing prices as a sign of decline for black residents. A carjacking spike has even forced Mayor Muriel Bowser to hand out free Apple Air Tags so residents and cops can better track and retrieve stolen vehicles.
Wrong, wrong, wrong — it has nothing to do with murders, gentrification, or the dying grass at Langston Golf Course. The real problem stems from the October 2022 menthol ban, the effects of which are just now beginning to be felt.
When D.C. banned the menthol cigarette, anti-government sentiment spiked in historically black neighborhoods, such as Shaw and Anacostia, while other pockets like the H Street Corridor and U Street experienced an explosion in illegal cigarette sales, according to Michael Goldberg, a senior fellow at the Center for African-American and Jewish Relations and long-time DMV resident. Goldberg detailed in a new bombshell study — obtained exclusively by Scoops — that approximately 97% of violent crime in the District is directly linked to the illegal sale of menthol cigarettes.
“Listen, although I’m partial to Marlboro Lights, I got nothin’ but brotherly love for the black community’s choice of cancer stick: icey, minty, refreshing menthol. De gustibus. And just because the do-gooder tyrants come in the name of public health, that doesn’t justify their racism or their shocking thirst for power and control. It does not justify robbing black Washingtonians of what they love most: Newport Menthol 100s,” Goldberg told Scoops.
“It’s a disaster,” he added. “A complete disaster.”
The groundbreaking scholar, who recently topped the New York Times bestseller list with his dense tome, “Let Me Cook: How Rich Liberals Destroyed The African-American Dining Experience,” has one policy prescription: “Make ’em legal again.”
“I crunched the numbers, and they are indisputable. The ban is single-handedly contributing to the crime spike,” Goldberg said as he sparked up a Newport on a Langston tee box. “But we have an easy fix. Politicians just need the backbone to fight the bigots and follow through.”
He took a long drag, then piped his drive 250 yards. Straight as a cig pulled fresh from the box. It was as if the ball, a Pinnacle 1, was the face of racism itself, such was the force of his baseball-esque swing.
“Bowser can suck it,” he said, raising his menthol in solidarity.