It turns out there is a right way to raise your children if you want them to grow up to be confident and well-adjusted adults, and it seems American parents are failing at it.
The number of children struggling with mental health issues, including suicide, has increased every year for the last decade, according to an investigation published in JAMA. It found that the proportion of children visiting the emergency room for mental health reasons “has approximately doubled” in the last 10 years with “a 5-fold increase … for suicide-related symptoms.”
We have an emergency in our country if our children find themselves feeling so alone that they see death as their only option. In reality, the prevalence of adolescent suicide is just a symptom of our more significant problem, which is our country’s parenting crisis. The Institute for Family Studies found that parenting styles are a critical factor in determining the mental health of children.
👀Surprising new @Gallup @FamStudies study finds “Conservative parents are most likely to adopt parenting practices associated w/ adolescent mental health… most likely to effectively discipline their children, while also displaying affection & responding to their needs.” https://t.co/sO29TWkvM0
— Brad Wilcox (@BradWilcoxIFS) November 30, 2023
“Parents who set boundaries, establish routines, convey warmth and affection, and enforce rules effectively report a less contentious relationship with their adolescent child than parents who do not do these things, and this relationship is recognized by that child to be stronger and more loving. Each of the two factors related to parenting practices has a similar effect on the relationship as an index of adverse experiences related to parental drug abuse, death, or abandonment,” IFS found. (RELATED: From Disney Nightmares To Illegal Migrants, The World Is At A Tipping Point)
The study uncovered truths about parenting and childhood that seem so obvious. For example, parents who value marriage tend to display better parenting skills and have better relationships with their children during their teen years. Your children need to hear you talk positively about love and marriage so they have something to hope for. It also found that a parent’s political ideology affects their ability to parent well.
“As it happens, being raised by liberal parents is a much larger risk factor for mental health problems in adolescence than being raised in a low-income household with parents who did not attend college. Children of conservative parents score significantly better on mental health using either a comprehensive measure of mental health based on several items, or just asking either parent or adolescents to summarize their mental health on a 1-5 scale. The gap is large,” IFS reported.
Our society has always accepted that how a child is raised will affect his future. Still, the prevailing narrative tells parents not to be too strict or demanding on their children, or they risk watching them rebel against their authority, and this is especially true if the parents are conservative and Christian. It’s a toxic lie that is being fed to parents to the detriment of their children.
2. “The most important factor in the mental health of adolescent children is the quality of the relationship with their [parents]—w/ best results coming from warm, responsive & rule-bound, disciplined parenting.” @jtrothwell @FamStudies @Gallup https://t.co/KBrXzwEK1t
— Brad Wilcox (@BradWilcoxIFS) November 30, 2023
No child likes to be told they can’t do something, but they are inexperienced and have no clue how to handle what the world is throwing their way. It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach their child right from wrong. Kids will get overstimulated, confused, cold, wet, etc. — and act out. That doesn’t mean to parent out of anger but the idea that you can gentle parent a screaming, out-of-control child through a meltdown is cruel. (ROOKE: Men Don’t Need Therapists, They Need Better Women)
It may make the parent feel better about themselves but it leaves the child in a prolonged state of distress. He doesn’t need you to sing his favorite song in his ear while his face turns purple. He needs a parent to set boundaries around him that will make him feel safe again.
Americans used to teach their children about love, family, and God. Our values were passed down through the generations. We built the most powerful nation on Earth with the descendants of men and women who understood that raising your children well was the highest calling parents had.
Whether it was world wars wiping out thousands of honorable men or the victory feminism had over the traditional family unit, our nation’s parents stopped guiding their children.
It’s not just that it should change, but that it has to.
Our children deserve parents willing to do the work necessary to raise them with the understanding that there is more to life than death.
Mary Rooke is a reporter at the Daily Caller.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.